4-6 weeks

Dear Baby Girl,

Is it okay if I still call you baby girl?  We have tons of nicknames for you!  Your dad likes to call you pumpkin munchkin all the time and your Auntie Lisa has been calling you Spike because of your wild spikey hair, and I call you chickie bird cause of your chickie hair too!  We have a whole list of other names we call you though too!  I will have to make you a list of all of them! 

I'm so sorry it has been such a while since I've written you!  Your momma has been sick as a dog.  But thankfully now I am feeling better.  The doctor says that I do still have to be on bedrest for a while until things heal up.  It is a little tough for me cause I don't like to sit still so much but luckily God has sent lots of angels to help us get through it.  I hope you know that even though I'm limited in what I can do for you right now, there is absolutely no limit on how much I love you!!  

Speaking of angels, I know I have been telling you constantly about all of the people who have been looking out for you and who love you so much, but there is something else that I hope you learn from all of this too, more than just how much you are loved.  I hope you learn from each of these people who have reached out to us in extraordinary ways to do the same for others.  I know it is something that have touched your dad and I's hearts forever and we will never be the same because of it. I hope someday when you're older and you're the one scrolling through facebook (or whatever the social site is during your days) and you see something about someone in need (maybe a sweet little baby like you) that you won't just keep scrolling but that you will stop and take action.  (remember when I told you that love is an action?)  Whether it is dropping to your knees in prayer or hosting a fundraiser to raise money or lo que sea (I'm trying to keep up your Spanish!), I hope that you will stop and take action to help like so many loving, caring people did just for you.  You never know what little actions can make a really big difference in the lives of others like they did for us.

Since it's been a while since I've written, I have to tell you that you have really grown!  It is crazy watching you grow so fast right before our eyes!  You are already wearing size 1 diapers and have grown out of most of your newborn clothes!  You love to eat and are putting on weight fast.  And your dad and I love each one of your new chubby little rolls!  Everything about you is precious to us.  You also have been smiling a lot more, cooing, and even laughing.  You laughed for the first time when you were 5 weeks.  I was feeding you and you stopped for about 5 seconds, threw your head back and laughed, and then went back to eating, it was so funny!  You are also holding your head up and trying to see everything all the time.  You follow us and your toys with your eyes, and you know when one of us leaves the room (and you let us know that you are not happy about it!)  I can't believe how you are just growing and developing so fast!

Since the last time I've written, you have also had some visitors.  Here are some photos of the people who have been here to see you.  

Visiting with Grandpa John and Grandma Debbie

Visiting with Auntie Tracey

You were a little hard on your Uncle Bradley

Also your Grandma Mexico came to take care of you and I for a whole week while I was sick, but I was too sick to get any pictures!  Also, your Auntie Melissa came out and so did our good friends Adam and Ginger, who are having a baby boy in December!  He will be exactly 6 months younger than you, which is just like your dad is 6 months younger than me... don't get any ideas now!!  (your dad says you are already taken and will be marrying Abram Stanley :)

Now that your momma is not so sick, I hope we will have more visitors and I will try to get more pictures for you!!  But here are some more pics that your dad took... (he took you on some of your first outings in the past few weeks too!)

You love bath time!

and snuggling with Daddy!

Your new tummy time mat from Grandma Mexico! (sleeping with your penguin, you love this little guy)

You went to the movies for the first time last week and saw The Lorax - sorry we didn't get a picture of you at the theatre but we saved the ticket for you!

Enjoying your little bouncy seat (you love to swat at those animals!)

Not enjoying your bouncy seat!

One last thing to show you... since I am down in the basement and can't do the stairs too well, this is the dish system your dad made for me - dirty dishes go in Mr. Dirty Dish Man on the left and come back clean from Mr. Clean Dish Man on the right - isn't your dad a funny guy?

 Well little princesa, I think that's all for now!  My friend Ellen and her daughter Maya will be here any minute now to visit you!  Love you tons and will try to write again soon!!  

Love, 

Your momma

Another plea for prayers

Hi again,

So I know I have asked for a lot of prayers lately.  And you all have been AMAZING with sending up prayers for Kenya, and then also for my friend's baby Ainsley when she was sick.  And here I am again asking for more, but this time they are for me.

A little precaution... this stuff about me is a little yucky and disturbing.  So if you want to just close this blog out right now and say "Dear God, please help Kristin get better", I am 100% good with that.  But if you want to know more details, read at your own risk.

So to start off, my recovery from the birth... not sure how to put this nicely, but basically, because of the way the doctors handled the birth and because of the trauma, the damage done was both internal and external and very, very severe.  Like as in, as severe as it can get.  I will spare all the yucky details of what this means, but the doctor told me last week that I should expect 6 months before being able to sit again.  This was a hard pill for me to swallow.  She said I shouldn't be spending more than 20 minutes a day on my feet.  Which... to answer a lot of your questions that I've been getting ... this means I can't start or run a safehouse right now... I can't look for a teaching job around here... and I can't adequately care for my daughter or myself without a lot of help (thankfully though I am blessed with wonderful family who are taking care of both of us).  I am supposed to start physical therapy in a few weeks once I am a little better and start the long road to recovery.

I know I explained before, vaguely, that I had some infections when I got to the states.  You can skip this paragraph if you want.  But if you want to know, this is what happened... when I was in the hospital with Kenya and taking care of her in the DR, I kinda stopped taking care of me.... which meant that my stitches tore open again and got a lot worse... and then they got infected... and then the infection spread into my bladder.  These are what I was talking about when I said I had infections coming into the states.  I went to the ER when we got here and started the anti-biotic Keflex.  And I was starting to get better... BUT... after finishing the med, I started getting really severe flu symptoms.  And they have lasted for 8 days now. (not the way I planned on losing my baby weight)  And I'm trying not to worry, but they are getting worse, not better, and I am really hoping and praying that I don't have one of the rare, long-term side effects listed for Keflex.  This has had me pretty low lately (literally on the bathroom floor kinda low) and I think Kenya is ready for something other than Gatorade and saltines in her diet, so if you would pray for this, I would appreciate this too.

One last thing... and this might sound really shallow and superficial to ask for prayer for this in comparison to everything else, but I am going to ask anyways.  When we left the DR to come to the states, we booked plane tickets as soon as we got Kenya's passport and went straight to the airport without stopping home to pack a suitcase.  So we left everything behind and came with not much more than the clothes on our backs (and some things our awesome brother and sister in law Tim and Paola sent to the airport for us and Kenya too).  And we were okay with leaving everything we own behind cause it's just stuff... and the most important thing is our daughter.  But one of the things I left behind was my wedding ring (cause I was too swollen to wear it at the end of my pregnancy) and now it's lost/stolen and no one can find it (along with some of our other valuables that were lost/stolen, but this is what I'm the most worried about).  I know in the grand scheme of things, it is just a thing and is not important at all but I still can't help but be sad about it and hope and pray that it will turn up.

So this is it... there is some other junk too... but I will spare you that stuff cause this is what I'd like you to please pray for.  And I hope it doesn't sound like I'm just venting and complaining because I know I am SOOO blessed to have my baby girl healthy again and I am so thankful for that.  So please don't get me wrong.  I seriously cannot thank God enough for the miracles He has done.  I know that we are oh so blessed.  But if you would be willing to now pray for me, not for a miracle, but just that I can get just a little better, just enough to be able to take care of my baby girl again and enjoy her and this time with her, that would mean a lot to me.  And please continue to pray for Baby Kenya too as she transitions to life here.  After all that she has been through, being pumped full of so many drugs and with me being so sick, it has not been easy for her.  But she is such a trooper and is doing great considering all she has been through.

Thanks for all of your prayers, and for all of your kindness and generosity in helping us these past few weeks, it has meant so much to us.  Also, please please forgive me if you contacted me and I haven't gotten back to you.  I was doing good getting back to people until I got knocked on the floor sick and I know there are a lot of people I haven't been in touch with, so please forgive me as I continue to slowly get back to everyone.

Also, since I'm asking for all of these prayers for me, please let me know if I can pray for YOU.  Since I'm restricted to total bedrest, there is not a lot I can do these days, but prayer is something that I can do.  And it will help me to keep me head up while I'm down and help me not to focus so much on my own issues but on others, so I would love to create a prayer list of other people I can pray for.

Okay, that's all for now.  Thanks again to all of you for your continuous love, prayers, and support.

Love,
Kristin

Big Miracles for Little Girls

Hi again,

Hope this blog post finds you all well.  Not sure how many of you saw my blog post from yesterday about my friend Christina Gazzarari Hall and her sweet baby girl Ainsley who was diagnosed yesterday with Cystic Fibrosis.  I didn't share the post on facebook yet cause I was waiting on Christina's permission, but for those who found it anyways, thank you so much for your prayers, and for those who haven't read it, let me give you a quick recap.

Christina and I are friends from middle and high school and though we've been far away from each other for a while, we both were excited to be pregnant with baby girls with close due dates together and were able to follow each other's pregnancies this year via facebook.  Christina has been a super sweet supportive friend to me and has sent encouragement and has been praying for baby Kenya in these recent weeks.  I was really excited for her when she delivered her sweet baby girl Ainsley last week and to see of all the gorgeous pics of her on facebook.  Then I read Christina's devastating news yesterday that Ainsley was diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis.  I think being a new mom, and a new mom with the experience I have in these past weeks made my heart break in ways for Christina and her family that it never could have before.  Last night, I cried and prayed and thought of Christina all night and couldn't sleep (who sleeps anyways with a newborn though right?).  Lots of people were praying last night for Ainsley after getting this news.  I wondered if God could make another miracle come true for baby Ainsley like He did for our little girl.

This morning, Dave told me there was another message from Christina in my inbox.  I was hoping it would be her permission to post my blog asking for prayers.  I asked him to read it right away.  Instead of an answer about my blog, it was a note from Christina saying that the lab had called to report that they had screwed up little Ainsley's test results and that she doesn't really have cystic fibrosis.  Are you kidding me?!?  I can understand something like this happening in say, the DR, where lab tests are done using baby food jars to hold samples and scrap pieces of paper laying over them with all the personal info.  But this is my friend from the U.S. of A.  We don't make these kinds of mistakes in America do we?

All I know is I cried tears of joy and was so overwhelmed to hear this news for Christina and her family.  And I wanted to let you all know that little baby Ainsley had a miracle happen in her life just like Kenya did.  Thank you to everyone who has been praying for sweet baby Ainsley.  I am so thankful to God for another miracle for this beautiful baby girl.  I think God is on a roll these days with these baby girl miracles and I can't praise and thank Him enough for it!!

Thank you for your prayers for sweet baby Ainsley!!

Prayers Needed for Baby Ainsley

To all of the awesome prayer warriors who have been praying for Kenya these past weeks without ceasing, I need your prayers again.  This time for a good friend of mine, Christina Gazzarari Hall, who I grew up with and went to school with - even though we have been far apart for a long time, she was a special friend who will always hold a special place and special memories of in my heart.  Christina also recently gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, Ainsley Elizabeth, just a few weeks after Kenya was born.  I am hoping that our two baby girls will be able to meet each other soon.

Baby Ainsley was diagnosed today with Cystic Fibrosis.  My heart has just been longing for Christina and her family as I know now that seeing your baby sick and worrying about your baby's health is the hardest thing a mom could ever go through.  So I am asking you to please pray for Baby Ainsley just as you all have been praying so faithfully for Baby Kenya, and ask everyone you know to do the same.  Pray that God would bring peace, comfort, and healing to Baby Ainsley and her family, and the very best doctors to treat her and take care of her every need.

Also, if you know of any resources that could be of help to Christina and her family, please let me know.  She lives in Michigan in the Detroit area.  Thanks for all of your prayers for Baby Ainsley!!

Sweet Baby Ainsley

Please pray for this beautiful baby girl!

Love,
Kristin, Dave, and Kenya

Kenya Update

Hi again,

Thank you to all who have been continuing to write with your concerns, encouragement, prayers, advice, etc.  I know everyone wants to know how Kenya is doing and we are appreciative of the many, many people who care so much about our baby girl.  I'm sorry I have not had time to write with an update sooner.

During Kenya's stay in the hospital, she had a lot of tests redone including a 24 hour video EEG, a cranial MRI, and a spinal MRI.  We also got a lot of blood tests done, and received back our lab testes from Pennsylvania that tested Kenya for hundreds of metabolic and congential disorders.  So far, all of the results have come back completely contradicting everything that the doctors told us in the DR.  Her MRI is completely normal and shows no sign of any brain damage.  The pediatric neurologist said her EEG does show some sharp transient brain waves, but says that this is non-epileptic type and is not doing any kind of brain damage.  Other than that, her EEG was normal.  All the blood work came back normal.  We were totally confused by the outcome of this, and how different the results were from everything we had been told before in the DR.  The ped. neurologist and epileptologist here said that Kenya likely has benign neonatal myclonus, which are non-epileptic seizure like activity that does no damage to the brain and that she will most likely grow out of by 8 months.  The epileptologist also said it may be Sandifer's Syndrome, which is a rare type of GERD that causes seizure like behaviors right after feeding followed by crying spells.  We were happy to hear both of these possible diagnosis, as they are so much better than anything we heard down in the DR.  Then the doctors said they wanted to take her off the Keppra cold turkey.  This part made me nervous, but they said they would keep her in the hospital with full monitoring for the next 24 hours to make sure there were no seizures.  I was a little skeptical but felt okay since she would be right there in the hospital if the seizures came back.  Kenya went through the next 24 hours seizure free.  But we also knew that the Keppra would take up to 3 days to fully leave her system.  So when they wanted to discharge her Monday night with no meds, I was still feeling pretty anxious.  They reassured me that she would be okay, the hospital is only 10 minutes away and we now are in a place with 911 and ambulances that can rush her in as needed.  I was still really scared to leave.  But 3 days later, Kenya still has had no real seizures.  Confused?  Surprised?  Baffled?  So are we. 

Part of me feels like this all really was a bad dream.  Like maybe I made it up in my head and none of it really happened.  But I have reports from all of the doctors in the DR with her diagnosis... generalized secondary seizures... myoclonic seizures... traumatic brain injury... lack of oxygen to the brain during birth... Keppra for the next 5 years... start looking at therapy and rehabilitation.... possibility of developmental delays.... these are all things they told me that I could never forget.  And whether they were "true" seizures or not, I cannot forget what I saw in Kenya in this last week... the rolling eyes, smacking lips, fisted hands, jerking limbs, rapid breathing, and the worst part, not being able to do anything to wake her up or get her to respond.  And now, one week later with no medication, she is not exhibiting any of these behaviors.

We have been trying to figure out a logical explanation to all of this.  The doctors have some ideas and we've had some of our own....

Maybe the doctors down there were just completely wrong and diagnosed her completely wrong. (but why did we see seizure activity there and not here?)
Maybe she has already grown out of the seizure activity.
Maybe it is something environmental that has to do with leaving the DR and coming to the states (allergy to the tropical oleander flower can cause seizures).

Or maybe, just maybe, God just decided to completely heal Kenya of her seizures.  It seems crazy, but I know it's not impossible.  Maybe our prayers, and those of so many others praying for Kenya, were answered.  One of the doctors actually offered this answer himself.

Maybe this sounds totally naive.  And maybe Kenya will start having seizures again tomorrow.  Maybe she will still have health problems or special needs.  Nothing is for sure.  Except for this... we will continue to love Kenya through ANYTHING.  We will continue to praise God and thank Him for the gift of Kenya no matter what happens.  And we will always know how incredibly loved and supported Kenya is and remember how people near and far poured out their love and prayers on her in extraordinary ways.  How people dropped everything they were doing and did anything they could to help her and help our family to bring her to safety. 

A week ago I posted a blog and asked for help because I was scared for Kenya's life.  Now I'm posting as she sleeps sweetly and peacefully beside me and can't express enough gratitude to God and to everyone else who has helped our baby girl.  After 2 miscarraiges and a high-risk complicated pregnancy with Kenya, we were already calling Kenya our little miracle.  Now I think we can say that with more certainty than ever.

We still are attending follow-up appointments, monitoring Kenya, and there are still a few test results coming in (poor baby girl was poked so many times but they still have some they have to redo due to insufficient blood supply).  We will continue to post updates as more information comes in and we know more about Kenya's health status.  But for now, all we can say is PRAISE THE LORD for Kenya and her recovery!

Thank you again to all those who have supported us through prayer, advice, encouragement, special contacts, help with the embassy, and financial help.  Without each of you, we wouldn't have been able to get Kenya here to get the help that she needs.  Thank you!!!

One more thing... I know a lot of people have been writing about coming to visit us.  Right now we are still resting, recovering, and trying to get Kenya into a routine here so we are not ready for visitors.  But if Kenya continues to do well, then in the next week I think we should be ready to see visitors.  You can contact me via facebook or email to set this up. :)

Love,
Kristin, Dave, and Kenya

Kenya in her new crib at Uncle James and Auntie Lisa's house!

3 weeks old!

All the kids and volunteers at NPH Orphanage have been praying and praying for you!  They can't wait to meet you!

Dear Kenya Doll,

What a week we've had!  I don't know if there's any other baby out there who has had such an eventful and adventurous 3 weeks of life as you have had.  It has been the most difficult of both of our lives, but also has been amazing to see such an outpour of love showered on you by so many and to see how God's mighty hand has been so at work through all of this.

The hardest part started in the DR going to hospitals in Santiago and Santo Domingo.  I never knew it would be possible to miss someone so incredibly much as I missed you when we had to leave you in the NICU.  Those 35 hours were the longest of my life.  I spent most of them in prayer with other mommies in the waiting room outside of NICU.  There were times I literally dropped to my knees, hugging and holding hands with complete strangers, somehow we helped each other to get through it all.  I am still praying for a little baby girl named Dara who was there with dengue fever.  Her mom Loida and I prayed for you guys non-stop and her entire church was also praying for you.  I also spent lots of time trying to sweet talk the nurses and bringing them candy and treats trying to get past the door to see you.  I swear that after all of this, I will never again take for granted the grand privilege I have in being able to see you, hold you, feed you, and just be with you everyday.  It is hard to put you down now because I never want to stop holding you or looking at your beautiful little face.  Sometimes we just don't know how good we've got it, but now I will never forget how amazingly blessed my life is for having you in it.

Once we knew we had to get you out of the DR and get you to better healthcare, this is when the real blessings begun.  I decided to write a blog post reaching out for help to get you out of the DR and to the U.S. for help, and I never imagined in a million years the response that I have gotten.  Since I wrote that blog, I have received thousands of hits and literally hundreds of emails and messages from people who want to help you.  Dozens of people wrote state reps, congressmen, and others in government to expedite your passport.  Doctors wrote letters of medical emergency to get you out.  There was even a personal phone call in to vice president Joe Biden on your behalf!  Your passport, which should usually take months, was finished and ready in less than 2 hours on a day when the embassy was closed.  They all knew us and our story when we got there.  AMAZING.  And this isn't even the beginning.  You have had invitations from across the country to come to the best hospitals.  Lots of families across the country have opened up their homes to us.  I have received countless emails from other parents of children with seizures who want to share all they can to support and help you. They even started a support group just for us where I can ask questions and learn more about how to help you.  People are raising money all across the globe for you to make sure you will be provided for.  There are fundraiser parties and events in your honor.  And of course, all around the world, there are about a million bajillion prayers being sent up above just for you.  The whole thing has been unbelievable and your dad and I are still trying to take it all in.  To tell you that you are SO INCREDIBLY LOVED is too much of an understatement.  There just aren't really words for it.  Just remember baby girl, to never lose your faith in people and never lose your faith in God.  Even though things don't always go as we plan, God has a plan in all of it.  And, like Margaret Mead has said, never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has. (in your case, it's actually quite a big group!)

Since we got to Devos Children's Hospital in Grand Rapids, you have been just as popular. You dad's cousin Daniel works there and had their whole team ready and waiting for us when we got there Friday night.  All the staff were gushing and gushing over what a gorgeous baby you are and everyone was so eager to help us.  Your dad and I felt a sense of peace being around such kind and wonderful staff there.  And the hospital was so beautiful that we kept saying we felt like we were in an all-inclusive resort.  The very best part is that your dad and I had a pull-out bed right in the room with you so we could be with you all the time.  I was SO relieved that I didn't have to leave you in the NICU again.  We were hugely blessed during all of our time there.

Now we are back staying with your Uncle James and Auntie Lisa.  We are still waiting on more tests to come back and don't know anything for sure, but the doctors all have high hopes for you.  We all do too.  I know that God has some huge plans for your life and that He is holding you in the palm of His hand and that I don't have to worry anymore.  And there are SOOOOO many people lifting you up every single day in prayer.  But I want you to remember that no matter what the outcome of all of this, you are already perfect to us and always will be.  And we will love you unconditionally with all of our hearts until the day we die.  You are the absolute love of our lives and we will never stop thanking God for bringing you into our lives.

Well little chica, I think that is all for this week.  We are all tired and it looks like you want to eat now too.  So time to eat and go and get some sweet dreams.  Will write again soon.  We love you to the moon and back. 

xoxoxoxoxooxoxxoxoxo

Love,

Your momma

Your first time at the airport and first time flying! And your first time in the USA!! (lots of firsts this week!)

The lactation consultant at the hospital taught us how to have skin to skin time - we were loving it! 

Here are some photos of you that Rachel Sawyer took of you at 1 1/2 weeks old (these are some of my faves)

Can't wait to get more photos of you as your develop and get more beautiful every day!!

In the U.S.A.

Hi again,

First I want to say a million thanks for all of the love, prayers, support, encouragement, advice, referrals, donations, and all else that you all have done to help us during this time with Kenya.  I can't express enough how deeply touched our family is by the overwhelming amount of support we have received these past few days.

Yesterday was a very blessed day.  We went to the American Consulate first thing in the morning and even though they were closed, they let us in and they were able to process her passport in less than 3 hours (usually this can take months).  So a huge thanks to all those who put a word in to get that process going.  The staff there were expecting us and were super helpful in getting the process done quickly.

We then were able to find a flight to fly out at 2:30 yesterday afternoon and had smooth flights with no problems (thanks Delta).  Kenya did great for her first time flying and the pilot even gave her a little pair of wings pin.  We arrived into Grand Rapids last night at 10:00 and Dave's brother James and his wife Lisa picked us up and took us directly to Devos Children's Hospital from the airport.  The staff here knew Kenya's story and got Kenya right in to the ER and the staff were so incredibly friendly and wonderful.  The hospital is beautiful and we have our own room with a pull-out bed where we can stay with Kenya at all times and nurses are available 24 hours to help us.  We were so so happy that we didn't have to let Kenya go to NICU again and I am able to continue feeding her, holding her, and caring for her.

After getting Kenya situated that night, my sister-in-law took me into the adult ER and I was able to get checked out no problem, and get on anti-biotics right away for my infections.  Happy to have that taken care of and know that I will be getting better so I can better take care of my sweet baby girl.  It is easy to see how God's hand was working through everything yesterday and we are so grateful to be able to here with Kenya.

Today Kenya is hooked up getting a 24 hour EEG.  The staff were super careful putting this on her and she has her head all covered up in a little gauze helmet, she looks so cute.  Tomorrow she will get a cranial MRI.  Even though she has to get all of these tests and everything done all over again, it is so good to have them done by such caring people who we feel like we can trust.

Thank you again to everyone who has been instrumental in helping Kenya get to the states and getting her the care she needs, whether through prayer, donations, advice, or making contacts to help Kenya out.  We can't say enough how blessed we feel to have so many people who love and want to help our baby girl.

Will continue to keep you all posted... keep the prayers coming! :)

Love,
Kristin, Dave, and Kenya