Happy Thanksgiving everyone! (a few days late..) As I look around, I realize I have so much to be thankful for - a wonderful husband, a job I love to go to each day, our dog (even if she makes me crazy each day and trashes our apartment), food to eat, a roof over our heads, our health, great friends and family near and far, and especially, each of you special people reading my blog who love, support, pray for, and invest in me all the time. I am thankful for you!
As I wrote about in my last entry, at school we've been practicing and preparing for our Fall Festival show - the Pilgrims and Indians play with the first graders and then our country re-mix dance with our dance group. And well it was all worth it in the end, I was so excited with planning and practicing that somehow I temporarily forgot the craziness of trying to plan any event or show in the DR (where nothing starts on time and nothing goes as planned ever). And though it was cute and fun and all my munchkins were adorable, I think the most appropriate word to describe the show would be STRESS. My co-teacher Johanna was out sick, and I don't think I've ever missed her as much as I did that day. Imagine trying to tell twenty-two five and six year olds "yes, we'll have snack today, yes we'll use the bathroom, yes we'll do the play, I don't know when, but just hang on a little longer, I don't know yet when we're presenting" as their little faces fill with confusion and big eyes fill with tears. But it was a very cute show, everything turned out, and I think the pictures disguise the chaos quite well. :)
 |
| Waiting in the hallway to go on for the show... which means lots of singing and Simon Says! Dave made all the Pilgrim hats and Indian feathers with the kids and the kids looked so good! |
 |
| First grade girls made awesome cowgirls for our "Wild West" themed Fall Festival! |
 |
| This is Brian, one of our more needy students at JCS who is on scholarship, who is in the other first grade class and in my reading group. He has never been to school before, and I learned the other night while going to visit his house he gets an incredible work-out making a long hike up a rocky hill everyday to school. And though he is quite a challenge to work with, he always shows up to school each day with a hug and a smile. Here he's showing off his face and arm painting from our Fall Festival station activities. |
 |
| A shot with our dance group after our Country re-mix performance - a little bit of Hannah Montana hoedown, Bootin Scootin Boogy, and Cotton Eyed Joe. My first dance performance in like.... 22 years probably? It was fun though.... :) |
 |
| Cristal and Marilee enjoying the Fall Festival games! |
 |
| Herly and his fall crafts |
 |
| Dave had a hat making contest with his high school art classes made of various recycled materials for the festival - here he is running the show! |
Thank goodness this was a half day of school before a long Thanksgiving weekend and we had big plans. First, a visit to the orphanage with all the donations of toys and clothing we collected during "Kindness Month" at JCS (this was our virtue for the month of October) to give to my former special education classroom. Then off to a Christian Reformed World Missions retreat for the weekend with Tim and Paola, and 40 other missionaries/volunteers from the DR and Haiti. Since we had so much luggage and couldn't fit into the "guaguaita" that we usually take, they sent someone to come and get us. And though I was just planning to sleep on the ride home, the person I met in the van ride changed that plan and made for a much more special 2 hour ride.
 |
| This is Shelly, a 9 year old girl I had the privilege of riding home with. She happened to be coming home from her chemotherapy treatments in the capital so we could ride together. Though she is Haitian and didn't speak Spanish or English, we somehow found a way play and sing together for our entire ride home. She is one of the 13 new children living in the home for Haitian kids with cancer at NPH that my friend Cristel is managing now. |
 |
| Shelly in a second picture feeling more comfortable in her hat. |
 |
| Here is a picture of Shelly with her mom, who is also named Shelly. |
 |
| Though I was planning to save all the donations to get sorted once I arrived at the orphanage, I couldn't resist pulling out this doll to play with Shelly. The expression on her face when I pulled it out couldn't have been more priceless. It is amazing to see someone who loves life and celebrates each moment of it, even if she's just barely hanging onto it. |
 |
| Here's Dave at our former home, the NPH volunteer house, with one of the many, many trees he planted last year. Hard to believe just six months ago when we left, this banana tree barely reached his knees. |
 |
| It was SOOO great to go back and visit Maria and my former classroom during school for the first time since I left in June. Here's Carmencita with a new stuffed animal from the donations. |
 |
| Maria is doing an amazing job with the classroom, it was so cute all decorated for Christmas! She is a friend who I miss sooooooooo much all the time. |
 |
| Maria made this nativity scene using scrap wood, an old broom, sawdust, and a few other knick-knacks.. how creative is that? |
When going back to visit the orphanage, there are common questions: When did you get here? When are you leaving? What did you bring me? but by faaaaaaaaaaar and away, the most frequent is.... Are you pregnant yet?
Going back to the school for the first time and going to class after class to greet teachers meant hearing the same thing over and over, you look great, you're so fat, are you pregnant?! while touching my belly. No, I explain again and again, not pregnant, just fatter.... after a few classrooms, I debated whether or not to continue this through the school, though I did and the same comments continued, then from 30 or so tias, and the same from the 200+ kids, Kristin, Kristin, you're so fat, are you pregnant? And here's the topper of it all... Mary Joe, my AMERICAN friend, says last, Kristin, look at you, you've gained weight! So I can't just pin it on the culture. I guess going back to the orphanage is not the greatest thing for your self-image, but they do mean it in all kindness and sincerity.
 |
| I had quite the abundance of clothing donations from a little girl in my class and immediately thought of my former student Julianna (on the right) who lives in the near-by slum village, since she does not usually reep the benefits of the orpahange donations (and has very little to wear aside from her school uniform). Her family was very excited and thankful. |
 |
| Since I don't have one of my own yet, they insisted I hold and feed their baby while they take pictures... not sure what that was about, but I thought it was funny enough to share. And who doesn't love holding babies? |
 |
| Julianna saying thank you and good-bye... |
 |
| A few of the Santa Ana girls at the orphanage. |
 |
| Belkis being camera shy. |
 |
| NPH kids can't get enough of the camera. |
 |
| After the orphanage visit, we went off to the retreat, which was at the..... BEACH - finally! |
 |
| Since there were so many of us gringos there for the retreat, our hotel had Thanksgiving for us and we actually got to eat turkey! |
 |
| Here's Tim and our neice Ana Leah, she's growing up all the time! |
 |
| Enjoying a birthday dinner with my husband. |
 |
| Our neice Ana Leah after bopping her head and getting a little shiner... but she's still cuter than ever. |
 |
| Dave getting his surprise birthday cake - and the waitress rubbed frosting all over his face. |
So the CRWM retreat - it's hard to put such an incredible and inspiring weekend into such few words. There was a pastor there from the Democratic Republic of Congo who blew us away. Though I don't have time or space here to explain all the ways in which I was touched and changed by his stories and messages, I do have to say one thing that made me realize needed to be said.
Over this past year, I have received countless emails and letters full of compliments, encouragement, and support - telling me I am giving, generous, kind, brave, selfless... people who say they want to be more like me, and even a friend from here that I told me she thought I actually was Jesus. And each time I accepted these with a simple thank you, and sometimes even allowed myself to believe them. And I am just now realizing that for a year and a half I have been robbing all this credit and glory from God, who without Him nothing at all is possible. And here's a confession, the truth: I'm not any of those things people call me. I'm selfish - all the time. I want and wish things for myself constantly - I want to take hot showers and eat good food and wear nice clothes and look nice - I want people to like me, I want to look good, I want to feel good, I want and want and want. I want a real salary and want more money and want more stuff. I try to tell myself I deserve things I don't need, play the grass is greener game, and even complain and talk bad about the very people I was sent here to love. The truth is I'm just the same big mess I always was. If that doesn't convince you, listen to this...
A few weeks ago after a day of teaching and tutoring and while Dave was out doing youth group, I decided to curl up in bed early and watch some chick flick in bed and drink tea on a rainy night. And while I felt a strong pull in my heart to go and visit my newly widowed neighbor, I told myself and told God "I have a headache. It's raining. It's been a long day. I don't have an umbrella. I don't know what to tell her, I can't help her. Tomorrow God." and selfishly went on watching my movie... which I will even admit was a Zack Efron movie, if that's even spelled right, who I'd never heard of until teaching with such a young crowd of teachers this year. I am 28 years old and chose to stay inside and watch some pre-teen movie instead of going to visit with my newly widowed neighbor, and I told myself I deserved it. And then I found out a few days later that my neighbor Milagros moved away and I missed my chance. Anyone still think I sound selfless, or like Jesus? I didn't think so... And instead of the big "I told you so" that I deserve, God forgives me every time, washes me clean, gives me another chance to follow Him.
The truth is that it when you see these photos on my page that make it appear I am doing something great or heroic, it is only that I am choosing to listen to those whispers of my heart that God gives me all the time. It only through Him that I can deny my worldly desires and use what I am given to better the world for those around me, no matter how small that may be. And nothing would be possible here without Him. So I just wanted to clear that up for all those who have been reading, and give props to the one who truly has made it all happen this past year and a half.
Okay, one last thing - Christmas. First, I don't know if I'm coming home yet, that has been a decision I've had been having trouble with for a while now. While talking to my Haitian girlfriend Cristel about the plane tickets last weekend, which my parents so graciously offered to pay for, she said "You could buy someone a house with that much money in my country." That got the wheels in my head turning - especially after reading about these great projects in my last two books I've read, Eat, Pray, Love and Three Cups of Tea - that maybe I could do some great project over in Haiti - help a homeless family have a house, help cholera victims, help my friend Antoine start the orphanage he's been talking about since the day I met him. But I don't have much money, and as Mother Theresa reminds me each day when I look up at my wall "We can do no great things - only small things with great love." I have to remind myself I'm not a hero, start small, and not to get too carried away. A part of me remembers quickly that life is short and tells me that I should just go home and see the friends and family that are precious to me. Anyways, so in short, I don't know about Christmas. But what I do know is that there is need all around me - children who don't receive Christmas gifts, families who struggle to eat, there were even two children in my church here in Jarabacoa that passed away in the past year from malnutrition. And not too far away on the other side of the island, in that country quickly forgotten after the earthquake, the need is even greater as people still live outside on the streets and are dying of starvation and disease with each meal we eat. So if you are interested in giving this Christmas, I can promise I will make sure that money will go to a good cause. It would great if I could even sponsor one family from our church this Christmas. Let me know if you are willing to help make that possible.
Thanks to all for your continued love, prayers, and support. Love and miss you all, and would love to hear about what's going on in the other places in the world where you each are.
Love, peace, and prayers,
Kristin
