Thank you... and a couple of invitations :)

Thank you to so many people who read my last post and have prayed for me and encouraged me.  It felt really liberating to be able to open up and share, and all of the kind words from people have really touched my heart.

As many of you know, I am planning to be in Detroit area this weekend to sell our hair products from our "La Alianza" ministry in the Dominican Republic at the Freedom Marketplace, which is part of the Michigan Abolitionist Project.  Hopefully Kenya will be there to model the hair products too. :)  This would be a great place to come and do Christmas shopping as there will be handmade products from all over the world, and all the money you spend will go to support great causes!  It is this Saturday, November 3rd from 9am-2pm at Alexander Learning Center Building, 11 Grand Ave., Mt. Clemens, Michigan 48043.

We will be selling hair pieces like this one and 100% of the profits will go to help our La Alianza ministry in the DR!

Since I will be in the area, I thought of organizing something that evening to do with friends and, after sharing my blog yesterday, I decided to make it a small fundraiser to raise money for women with severe birth injuries like mine.  So here's the plan... I am going to show a short documentary film about childbirth injuries in developing countries and share about my birth story and the injuries from my birth.  I think it is really important to raise awareness on this issue as hundreds of thousands of women around the world also suffer from similar experiences as what I have gone through.  Being able to share my story and use it for good will help me in my own healing process too.  This will be this Saturday, November 3rd at 6:30pm.  Snacks and beverages will be provided, as well as screening of the film, for suggested donation of $10 (or desired donation).  100% of money raised will be donated to the prevention and treatment of birth injuries in developing countries.  This event will be for women only, and might be uncomfortable for young girls or women who have not yet given birth.  If you are interested in coming, please email me at kristin.deyoung@gmail.com or facebook message me and I will send you the address of the event.  I know it's last minute, but I would love if you could make it! 

Also, one last thing... I obviously need to change the title of my blog as we are no longer in the Dominican so I am looking for ideas... if you have an idea, please let me know. :)

Thank you for all of your love and support, and for helping me fight this fight.

Love,
Kristin

An honest update

So it's been a while.  I'm sorry for avoiding and neglecting my blog.  I know everyone cares a lot about us and wants to know, how are we doing?  And my usual answer is good.  Kenya is alive and healthy and is a sweet little angel.  We have access to quality healthcare and our medical bills so far have been paid which is a tremendous blessing.  We have been showered upon with donations, gifts, and loads of love and support.  We have a roof over our heads and food on the table and family who are taking good care of us.  So we are blessed and God is good.  I will never stop thanking and praising Him for my beautiful little miracle I get to wake up to every morning.

But then there is the question "How are you feeling?"  Which I usually answer okay.  Which is really not an honest answer at all.  The truth is that how I feel (physically) is really not okay.  The "6 month recovery period" that I thought sounded rough in the beginning would now be a miracle.  With every doctor I go to, the news gets a little worse.  I have a lot of internal damage, need multiple surgeries (major, risky surgeries that I don't want), and I still live in a lot of pain.  It is painful to stand, to walk, to sit, to eat, to take a shower, to go to the bathroom, to pick up Kenya, to do anything.  I had a 3D ultrasound yesterday of everything and they kept the screen turned away while they gasped and whispered and pointed saying "That is not normal and that is NOT normal and what happened there?", and pointing out who knows how many "defects" (whatever those are).  The doctor said that by the looks of how things are inside, it is absolutely amazing that Kenya came out alive, let alone as cute as she is. :)  And of course he asked, "What did they DO to you?" (only God knows all of it) because these are really "third world injuries" and, of course, "NOT normal".  The repairs were put back together wrong, things are not where they are supposed to be, and my organs are (for lack of a better way to put it) not working correctly.  Then he said I am not emotionally ready for all the news he has from the eval., so to "emotionally prepare myself" for my next appt. on December 18th and they'll walk me through all of it.  New project for my therapist.  Because yes I'm in therapy and I have post-traumatic stress disorder.  There is not a day that goes by that I'm not haunted by the horror of my birth experience and my therapist is helping me work through all of the flashbacks and nightmares I have from the first 3 weeks of Kenya's life in the DR.  I really understand the meaning now to "broken by birth".

The other thing the doctor told me to do is share my story.  Up until now I have not shared my story too much because I have been told to "let it go", and I don't want to scare or offend people.  He said "Who cares if you scare or offend people if you can save other women and their babies' lives, or save them from turning out like you?"  I'm not going to help anyone from staying silent and crying alone in the dark. Having a baby abroad seemed like a fun and adventurous thing to do.  It was actually a very dangerous thing to do, and if I could ever get one do-over in life, that one would be it. (this is not to say that every woman who gives birth abroad will have this experience, but I am saying that it is taking a major risk, one every woman should be aware of)

Right now I am still in the middle of this storm.  But I know that all of this suffering will not be in vain and that God is going to use it somehow.  So this is where I start.  If I can save one other woman from the barbaric experience I had, and to have a better outcome, then it will be worth it.  I have been reading the book "Half the Sky" and trying to get involved in the Half the Sky Movement.  Although some of it has hit a little too close to home and is hard to read (like the chapter on maternal mortality), it has driven a passion in me for helping all of the women who live with severe birth injuries like mine, but especially those who live through it in stark poverty while being rejected by their husbands and shunned by their communities.  Someday I hope and pray I can recover enough to work toward ending the injustice surrounding childbirth in so many countries around the world, where female genital mutilation is accepted and maternal/infant mortality rates are still astronomical in the year of 2012.  The 18th century techniques that were used on me and are still used on so many other women around the world everyday is outrageous and has to end.

Right now though, recovery is still my everyday fight.  It's been an uphill battle. (this is why we cannot and are not going back to the DR). So I need a lot of prayers.  And forgiveness... please forgive me for all of the unanswered emails, unwritten thank you cards, lack of visits to all those special people who have helped me out.. know that I do love all of you.  In the beginning, wrapping myself up in projects like starting the Kenya Foundation, the Kenya Project, praying for others, writing thank you's, and any other projects in attempt to "beat" this whole thing really helped me deny what had happened to my body, but now reality has really come crashing down hard and I've really dropped the ball.  But I'm still here and I'm going to keep fighting.  And I appreciate your prayers.

The biggest reward in my daily fight is my sweet little girl.  So I'll leave on a positive note with this video of her precious little giggles (if it works - otherwise you can find it on my facebook page :) 

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Thank you to everyone who is and has been praying for our family.  I'm sorry for my MIA-ness I've shown in these past couple of months.  I love and appreciate each and every one of you who has helped us and it has not been overlooked. 

Love,
Kristin

*Also, please no further questions right now about what I'm going through (unless you are in the medical profession or you are pregnant and I can help you by sharing my experience which I am more than willing to do).  I am not comfortable with sharing all of the details of this experience yet, but I do want to start to get my story out, which I think is my first step to using this experience to help others.

3 months old!

Hey my little princesita,

Your daddy has you dressed today in the most ridiculous outfit that I've ever seen on you.  Daddy was just trying to keep you warm, but I think we could call you baby gaga cause you are dressed up so funny - in a big blue and brown winter hat, long sleeved yellow onesie buttoned OVER the top of striped pants with teal socks and a flourescent orange flowered shirt over the top of it all.  I should get a picture of it for you.  Tomorrow I will try to wake up first and be the one to get you dressed. :)

It has been so long since I've written you last that I don't know where to start. I guess since you are now over three months, I'll start with your 3 month photo:

Here you are at 3 months old.  You are still growing like a weed, and doing all kinds of new things!  You are much more chatty now than ever, you like to tell us lots of stories, sing to us, and you have this deep belly laugh.  The other day we were hanging out and listening to Pandora radio and I sang you the song "My Girl" and you laughed so hard the whole time (probably at my terrible singing!).  You also love nature and the outdoors!  Daddy says you will be his little outdoors girl.  Whenever we are inside you are looking out the window at everything going on outside.  I love how the sunlight reflects off your eyes and I swear I could count the hundred flecks of blue in those pretty eyes.  You love to go outside in the morning and watch your dad play ball with Santa.  Your little head bobs back and forth watching her run and catch the ball.  You also love laying on a blanket with me to stare up at the leaves swaying on the trees and listen to me read you stories.  We got some "David" books cause your daddy says they are about him and they are really funny.  You get really into the pictures and even laugh at some of the pages.  I also love to read you "The Runaway Bunny" and "Counting Kisses" books.  Your dad and I have had quite the adventure driving all over trying to get a library card to get you books. (I'll have to fill you in someday) 

It is crazy how you are starting to have preferences.  We have been watching Baby Einstein on youtube and you cry whenever the clown comes on the screen and stop as soon as he leaves.  We also watch Baby Noah and you like watching the lions the best.  You also LOVE to skype with family and friends.  You get your face right up in the screen staring at the people we are talking to!  

I don't even know where to start to catch you up on everything over this past month.  I don't think any baby has ever had such an eventful life at so young as you have.  Dad calls us the gypsy family cause we are always moving around.  This past month you and I stayed with Grandpa and Grandma Dorr at their new house in Beverly Hills (Michigan, not Cali!) while your dad went down to the Dominican Republic again to pick up our dog Santa, sell our vehicles, and tie up all of our loose ends down there.  You also have had LOTS of visitors again this month, including Grandma B, Julie Dean, Great Aunt Brad, Cousin Suzie, Auntie Tracey (and all of her fam), Christina and little Ainsley, Uncle Darren and Auntie Melissa and her parents, cousin Rhonda, both of your great grandmas, Beatriz, and more (sorry if I missed anyone, there have just been so many!) Here are some pics of you staying at their house:

In Uncle Bradley's hat, already a Tigers fan!!  Uncle Bradley loves you so much that he came to see you EVERY DAY we were staying on that side of the state.  He sure loves his neice!!

Got you dressed up in your tutu for Grandpa's birthday party!

The family all together for Grandpa's birthday party

With your Auntie Megan and cousin Gavin!

At Uncle Junior's wedding!!  This was your first wedding, and your first dance with your dad, your grandpa, and your Uncle Bradley! (I was dying to get out on the dancefloor too, but had to sit this one out on my doughnut pillow instead.  Someday I can't wait til we can dance together!! :)

Julie Dean came over to see you and got all of these great pictures - there are tons more too! :)

Everyone loves this pretty bracelet from your Auntie Megan!

This picture could be a whole blog in itself.  Your momma's cousin Tara passed away this past month and we went to her "life celebration" with family.  Everyone wrote messages to send up to her on these balloons.  What a strong and beautiful lady, I can only hope that I will be the kind of person, wife, and mother that she was - everyone gave such amazing speeches about her.  I hope someday my life will be celebrated like hers was.

Your dad flew back on this little charter MFI plane that he used to fly when he was a kid.  He loved riding low and seeing all of the pretty islands from the plane.

Daddy sitting behind the pilot in the plane

When he got to Florida, this missionary pilot named Pilot Joe who flew him around as a kid (and remembers bringing lactaid to your daddy in Haiti cause he is lactose intolerant) went to pick him up and he got to stay at his house.  Dad says it was pretty amazing cause Pilot Joe's house was redone on this TV show called Extreme Home Makeover and they made his kitchen out of an airplane!  Daddy said he was a great guy and was excited to stay with him. 

Daddy with Pilot Joe at the made over house!

Pilot Joe helped to find a new (used) car and get daddy on his way up to Michigan.  

Santa with our new ride - a 98 Chevy Prism!

Santa in the passenger seat

He had some car troubles in Georgia but he made it back to Kalamazoo to drop off Santa and then jumped on the train to Birmingham to come and pick us up.  We tried to have a surprise welcome with Welcome Home! posters and throwing his favorite candy at him when he stepped out of the train, but unfortunately his train got there before we did.  Oh well...

Your daddy took this picture as we were disheveled trying to get the posters in order

Here are the posters... there are lots of photos of you with silly captions on them

Your daddy wouldn't let me open our suitcases until we got back to Kalamazoo. (we are staying at Grandpa and Grandma Mexico's house now)  Since we had to pick from a whole house full of stuff to put in just a couple suitcases, I spent hours making my list of what I wanted.  When I opened them up, I found that nothing from my list was in them.  It turns out that we got taken to the cleaners.  And as much as I pride myself on not being materialistic, I cried like a baby.  But then with a good hug from your dad, a big toothless grin from you, and Santa, well just being crazy spastic Santa, I knew it would all be okay.  As long as we have each other.  And Daddy reminded me of all the beautiful relationships that we built in the DR and all of the special memories that we have there.  And that's what matters about our time there the most. 

Even though it is hard not to go back to the DR and having to put our dream of starting a safehouse on hold, I want you to know that YOU are our dream come true and mean to more to your daddy and I than anything else in the world.  Sometimes people say they can't understand why bad things would happen to good people like us.  And here is the best answer I can come up with.  Compassion.  I have found, especially in these past few months, that people who go through the most difficult times are usually the first to jump in and help others who get into a situation similar to theirs.  The person who donated the largest sum of money to help you was a total stranger whose granddaughter had also had seizures just days before (an amazing story, I will tell you the whole thing someday!)  A college friend whose son was born with medical issues started a support group just to help us out.  A relative who has been through serious birth trauma herself has been by your momma's side since we got to Kalamazoo.  I could tell you about a bajillion more stories of people who have used their hardships to help us. (though these are not the only ones who helped you, a lot just helped cause they are family and friends and others with huge hearts who just love the bejeezes out of you too). 

But I just want you to know that even though you will go through some difficult times in life (we all do), God has a plan and purpose in all of it.  I hope that someday I can use the difficult times that I have gone through to help and bless others somehow too.  I have so much admiration for people who do this.  I think that people who have been hit the hardest with tragedy and hardship are some of the strongest and most kind and compassionate people I know.  Someday I can give you lists and lists of examples, but for now I will finish up this letter just by saying always hold on tight to your faith and know God never gives us more than we can handle.  Even when you're just hanging on by a thread, don't ever let go.

 So even though times are tough right now, we are holding on tight.  Your momma hasn't had the best news from the doctors lately, so we are holding on with all we have and I can't tell you enough what an amazing guy your dad is.  I know I've written it to you before, but I will never stop telling you how lucky you are to have him for a dad (and how lucky I am to have him as a husband).  He is so determined to help me heal and to take care of our family.  We made a long list of things I want to do with you when I heal that is hanging on the refrigerator.  Your daddy is always buying me all kinds of healing foods and other things to help me out, and doing projects to help out others in the meantime.  He is also starting a job now with your Uncle James to do agricultural work on farms.  He is excited cause he will get to ride on a four wheeler most of the day taking soil samples.  Your daddy loves that kind of stuff.  

Well little chica, I think that's all for today.  First a couple more photos of you in Kalamazoo....

In your headband from Auntie Laura

You go on lots of roadtrips!

Qdoba with Beatriz

You are a daddy's girl for sure!

I need to start writing more often so these letters aren't so long!!  I always have a million things to tell you everyday, it's just hard to find the time to sit down and write them all down!!!  Just know more than anything that you are LOVED.  I could never tell you enough how much I love you.  You make our lives worth living and are my sunshine that brightens up my every day.  Daddy and I love you more than words can say.  To the moon and back. xoxo

Love always,
Your momma

Letter to Kenya from Grandpa and Grandma Dorr

Dearest Baby Girl (our granddaughter),

We have huge smiles across our faces because we are so happy that your Mama and Daddy have created you with God and that you are coming into our world.  Oh so very, very happy! You are oh so special... already and always.  You are the first baby in our Dorr family... the first granddaughter.  An oh so beautiful one!  You have an amazing mother and father with many talents, many gifts and love beyond measure.  We look forward to all the special times and moments we will bring to each other's lives.  Our special times of...
overnight (and hopefully longer) stays/sleepovers, teaching you sports, playing, laughing, adventures together, singing songs, reading stories together, creating stories together, trips, travels and discoveries, dancing together, doing fun, creative projects together and lots and lots and lots of hugs and kisses.  You have stolen our hearts already.  We think of your tiny little feet and how they will be pitter pattering on the floor.  We think of your tiny little hands playing patty cake.  Those beautiful sweet lips giving us a kiss.  Thoes chubby little strong arms wrapped around our neck giving us a big hug.  Your parents are working so hard on making this a better world for you and every other child and person in this world.  They're special too!  You are precious to us beyond belief sweetheart... our beautiful special granddaughter.

Your happy, excited, full of love... for you baby girl... grandparents,
John and Debbie xoxoxoxoxoxo

Sawyer's Run 2012

The 2nd small donation made on behalf of the Kenya Foundation is to "Sawyer's Run 2012".  Sawyer's Run is actually happening today (right now as we speak), but I just got the idea to share about it on the blog.  While it may be too late to get out there and run, it is not too late to pray for this amazing family and all of the people who are running on Sawyer's behalf.

Now to fill you in on the cause.....

This is Brent and Jenny (Smither) Brown.  Beautiful people right?  Believe it or not, they are even more gorgeous on the inside.  I grew up with Jenny's older sister Katie who is a close friend of mine and became to close to all of the Smither family.  AMAZING people.  I could go on and on and on about the Smither family and all they do to make the world a better place (but that would be an entire blog in and of itself).  Katie and some of the others from the Smither family were also some of the first people to reach out and help when we were going through our situation with Kenya.

Though Jenny was a couple of grades below me in school and I didn't have the chance to get to know her as I would have liked to, it is easy to say she is one of the strongest and most beautiful women I have ever met.  You can read her story about the loss of her precious son Sawyer here on her blog - http://www.sawyersrun.org/why-we-run/.  Make sure to have a box of kleenex handy, because it is that moving and that incredible.  Jenny has turned the tragedy she has endured with Sawyer into a beautiful way to help children in need who are in the foster care system, and every year has a whole bunch of people get together to run in Sawyer's honor.  I wish I could be out there today, but want Jenny to know that even though I can't run with her, I am praying for her and her family.  Please pray for Sawyer's Run today, and get involved in other ways that you are able. I know someday I will have the privilege of meeting little Sawyer in heaven as well as my little babes I have lost to miscarriages, and I know Sawyer is a happy boy watching down as his mommy and daddy honor him today by helping so many other children in need.

Thank you again to all of you who make The Kenya Foundation possible.  It is really exciting for us to share and raise awareness about such amazing people and worthy causes out there!  Love you all (and promise to share a Kenya update for you soon too!)

Love,
Kristin, Dave, and Kenya DeYoung

The Kenya Foundation

Hi all,

Sorry it has been forever and a day since my latest update.  Things have been crazy with Dave in the DR and us moving around like a little gypsy family all the time. :)  But we are super blessed, Kenya is healthy and happy, Santa and Dave got home safely, and we continue to be blessed by SO many people who love us, support us, pray for us, encourage us, and of course give sweet little gifts for Kenya!!  I can't even imagine where we would be now without the love, prayers, and financial support that has been poured onto our family, and I can't say enough how your support has helped us SO much to get through these past couple of months.  We have been blessed so immensely that we even have some money leftover for the time being.  While it is tempting to give it all away at once because there are so many great causes out there that are near and dear to our hearts, we are still saving for any future medical needs for Kenya, and because it looks like I will need some surgeries in the future (related to the birth complications) that I don't know will be covered or not.  But in the meantime, we want to put some of the money that was donated to our family into a foundation in Kenya's honor to help other people, especially those in situations like ours.  We are not sure how to start a foundation yet (I am open to ideas and suggestions!), but for now we are going to put some money into a fund where interest can grow so we will have more money to give, so that your gift you gave for Kenya can keep on giving.  Each time we use money from the Kenya Foundation to help out others, I am going to try to put a little post on here with the details for people to read about (please be patient with me though as Kenya's needs come before blogging which makes it slow for me sometimes! :)  The reason I am going to write about the various causes we give to is not to ask you for more money, but so you can see how the gift you gave to help Kenya has not only helped her, but continues to give and help others all the time.  And I will always post a link for more information if you are interested in getting involved with the cause.  Even though we are not able to be in the DR doing the mission work we had planned, we are excited to be able to continue to help others, and it is because of your help that you gave to us!

I got the whole idea to start this the other day when I came across a story on facebook so similar to ours that it brought me to tears.  Here is a short version of the story I found on their facebook page:

This is the Orrange family.

 

"Brent, Courtney, Sam (7) and Brooklyn (8) Orrange moved from Colorado to Sierra Leone in August 2012 to work with a safe house for women/children who are coming out of human trafficking. Brooklyn became ill shortly after their arrival, and did not improve with medicine. On Friday morning, September 14, her kidneys began shutting down. She was flown from a hospital in Sierra Leone to a hospital in Ghana in order to receive dialysis and get her more stable.  The next step is to get her to London for further care. Our hope is that she will be stable enough to go on Monday morning, September 17." 

I couldn't believe when I read this that another missionary family, also in another country to help with anti-trafficking and safehouse mission work, also with a daughter (and a daughter whose name is also a place for that matter), also having to be flown out of country on medical emergency, who is also going through a life-threatening condition, and also having people pour out around the world to help her.  It reminded me so much of Kenya that we just had to help and share, like so many have helped our little Kenya!!

There have been more updates on their facebook page here - Pray for Brooklyn, and it looks like she is starting to heal, just as God has healed Kenya, but the family still needs a lot of support.  So helping Brooklyn's medical expenses was the first small financial donation made on behalf of the Kenya Foundation.  And we are praying for little Brooklyn here all the time, and ask that anyone reading this would stop and pray too!!

To find out more about the Orrange family, you can read their blog at www.fighttrafficking.org.  They have also asked others to wear the color orange to let them know you are praying and support them, and many people are walking and running races in Brooklyn's honor. (I will have to leave the running and walking part to Dave ;)  Please stop wherever you are to say a prayer for little Brooklyn, and feel free to check out these links to find out more about her status!

Kenya and Daddy showing their orange to support the Orrange family!

Thank you again to all of you who have helped to support our family, and have made The Kenya Foundation possible. 

Love and prayers,
Kristin, Dave, and Kenya (and now Santa is with us too! :)

Dave in the DR!

Hey everybody,

Dave is in the DR now picking up our dog Santa, selling our vehicles and some of our other personal things.  He is only able to bring a couple of suitcases so most of our belongings have to go.  The motorcyle has already gone, but if you are interested, we still have a jeep for sale:

*pregnant woman not included

 Anyone who is interested, you can contact Dave at stofue@yahoo.com.  He will give you a good deal, and will only be in the DR one more day so get a hold of him soon! :)  He put a lot of work into getting it up and running.  He is also selling a lot of our personal items at the house today (Sunday) if you would like to stop by for anything.  You can contact him by email to find out the location of our house in Jarabacoa.  Sorry this is late notice but my mother-in-law just gave me the idea this morning and I thought I would hop on it!

Dave is then is flying out on Tuesday on MFI with our dog to Fort Pierce, Florida.  He wants to buy a vehicle there and drive it up to Michigan.  If you know anyone in the area of Fort Pierce, Florida who is selling a vehicle, knows someone who does, or could help him out otherwise, please let him know - email stofue@yahoo.com. 

Sorry for the late notice, but there have been so many people out there who have helped us out in so many other ways, so I thought it was a worth a shot.  If nothing else, just say a prayer for his safe travels por favor. :)  Kenya and I are missing him lots and lots!! 

Thanks for your help!!

Love and prayers,
Kristin, Dave, and Kenya