8 & 9 months

After exactly 125 attempts, I think this was your best shot....

Here are some runners up....

And since I'm squeezing in 9 months in this blog too, here is the winning photo followed by the runner-up...

Dear Kenya,

This blog post is long overdue.  I started it a long time ago and never finished so it's kinda a mix of old and new.  It seems like you have grown up SOOOO much since the last time I wrote.  You weigh over 19 pounds and are 28 inches.  You are crawling on your own now AND walking with help (and have taken 2-3 steps on your own!) The first time crawling was at your Auntie Tracey's baby shower and we got it on tape!  Since then you have crawled across living rooms at different people's houses and even crawled to Grandma on Skype. (the computer and cell phone are your biggest motivators to crawl to)  You also are clapping on your own now - you laugh and smile clapping along with our "after dinner concert" (we always sing a song together after dinner as a tradition).  You LOVE the Curious Buddies DVD your Great Aunt Diane got you for Christmas, we've tried other DVD's from the library but this is the only one you really like (you are so over Baby Einstein now).  I swear you could watch it everyday and never get tired - you laugh and clap and sing along with the babies on the screen, it's so cute!!  Some other new things you are doing is waving and saying "ba" for bye, giving me tight hugs and pats on the back and you give high fives (but you've been doing that with your dad for a while).  You also scratch my back all the time when you're nursing and even try to tickle and pat my belly and you think it's hilarious.  Your favorite toy lately is your Leapfrog Learning Drum and you love to hit everything like it's a drum.  Your other favorite game is dropping everything on the floor, especially off the side of your high chair (which tries our patience at times, but Santa loves it!)  Sometimes you will just reach off the side of your high chair and try to feed Santa whatever you are eating.  You two are really funny friends and have a love-hate relationship.  You also are talking a lot more now too!  You had been saying "Dad" for a while but now you are finally saying "Mom", it is the sweetest sound and I love hearing it every time.  You also say "Santa" (which sounds more like anta) and "Bob" and lots of other sounds too!  When I hold you up to the mirror it sounds like you're trying to say "Kenya" too.  I can't believe how much progress you've made - you are one smart cookie!  You have 7 teeth now and are working on number 8 as we speak!

You and I have both been pretty sick lately so that's why I'm so behind on things and we've missed a lot of our normal stuff the past couple of months.  I actually even took my first ride in an ambulance to the ER - they wrapped my head in towels cause it was snowing that night and the paramedics didn't want my hair to get wet so they said I looked like Laura Ingalls Wilder and your dad wanted to take a picture but I told him that he would be in big trouble if he did.  They said I have had colitis for the past 9 months but it all was actually a good thing because they got me on the meds that I needed, the colitis has healed now, and I actually feel much better and for the first time in 9 months I can eat without getting sick which is great!  Your dad is happy cause it means he can eat pizza whenever he wants without having to sneak it or wait til I'm out of the house.  I'm sure someday you will hear about all the craziness this year has brought and maybe I will still have a lot of health issues when you're older or maybe I won't, I don't know now, but I want you to know that NONE of it was ever your fault and I wouldn't take back anything because it brought me YOU and YOU are the greatest gift I could have ever asked for in all of this.  I don't know what God's plan has been in all of this (trust me, I ask Him all the time) but I think sometimes in our lives we have to go through great suffering and pain to prepare us for bigger plans and give us compassion for helping others.  Try to keep that in mind someday if you ever have to experience suffering - you will be strong enough to get through it and you can turn any and every bad thing into good.  Like I said, I don't know what God's plan is but I do know that some way, somehow, I want to use this experience to help other women and babies, and I hope that in twenty or thirty years when you read this I will be able to say that I did that, even if it was just a little bit.

 In other news, it seems everyone I know is having a baby boy! (you will have lots of good options with great in-laws someday, just saying...)  You got to meet baby Asher Hollemans this past month for the first time.  It was so CRAZY to think you were that little not that long ago.  I could say it a million times but I can't believe how fast you have grown.  You loved seeing him and kept wanting to touch him the whole time....

You and Baby Asher

We also made our way out to the east side of the state for your Auntie Tracey's baby shower (who is also having a baby boy).  I didn't know if I would make it because I was so sick but it was good to be out there cause your grandpa and grandma helped nurse me back to health with the most amazing chicken noodle soup, you loved it just as much and ate about 10 bowls I think while we were there!  (your Grandma B also came out here and helped us too - we are lucky to have so much support!)

Hitching a ride on cousin Gavin's bike - you loved it! (maybe something to keep in mind for your 1st birthday)

Girls day out with friends at Panera (with Mommy's friend Sandy who is also pregnant with a BOY)

With Auntie Tracey at the baby shower - hope you forgive me for the outfit I made you wear :)

Since I was sick, we didn't really do up the holidays like we planned, but for St. Patty's Day you did eat some green food, including brocolli, avocado, and peas. That was the extent of your first St. Patrick's Day.  But we did do an Easter egg hunt and Easter basket and Daddy took you to church and Great Grandma's house where you got to do ANOTHER Easter egg hunt.  I stayed home in bed and watched Francis Chan's Easter sermon on youtube.

Meeting the Easter bunny in Battle Creek with Auntie Melissa (I think he made us sick though - we called it the Easter Bunny virus)

With cousin Zoe at the Easter egg hunt

Playing on Easter at Great Grandma Meints's house

Kenya bunny

Okay so I swore we would never use your name and the word princess in the same sentence BUT this video from your Auntie Paola made me rethink it.... 

And so Beatriz and I took you to see the Disney princesses at the mall here...

You loved learning how to fly from Tinkerbell

Not so sure about Rapunzel...

Pretty happy with Belle

Even though you are such a beautiful girl on the outside (everyone tells me, it's not just me!), I hope you always focus on your inner beauty first and foremost and strive for character traits like strength, determination, and compassion over anything you can put on or wear on the outside.  Also... someday I can't wait to watch all these Disney princess movies with you.  Beauty and the Beast was always my favorite. :)

We also celebrated some birthdays.  Here you are at cousin Zoe's 2nd birthday...

Auntie Lisa was super creative with the very hungry caterpillar cake

Rasta Kenya

Hanging out at the party

Riding on your cousins' bike

We also celebrated your Great Grandma DeYoung's 90th birthday!  What an amazing lady she is - with 17 grandkids and 17 great grandkids!!  It was quite a bash with lots of yummy Qdoba food! 

Happy birthday Great Grandma DeYoung!

Not much else is new this month.  Mama has been busy doing some more Half the Sky screening events - someday you'll definitely have to see the documentary and all it is doing to bring change to girls around the world.   Since your grandma and granndpa have been in Mexico, your mama has also been trying to get better at the whole housewife thing, but haven't been too successful so far.  Your dad wants me to start a blog just about all the things I cook and all of the disasters, cause there are a lot.  Mostly I specialize in burning things, but there have been a couple of things so creatively screwed up that only your mom could have done it. ;)

Here are some more pictures from your 8th and 9th months... 
 

My pretty girl

Lots of days hanging out in Grand Rapids with your cousins

Santa is your BFF fo sho

1st time brushing your teeth

You grew out of your snow bear outfit this month!  We will miss seeing you dressed up as a little snow bear!

Still loving bath time - you are always trying to drink the water

You always insist on feeding yourself and are a VERY messy eater!

 

Look at that rockstar hair!

Okay well I think that's all for this very long, overdue update!!  We love you more and more everyday - to the moon and back!  
Love, Your Mama

Courage

"God grant me the courage to change the things I can."

The second part of my daily prayer for serenity is about courage.  While there are so many things I find I cannot change about my life and my body, I can help to change the outcome for millions of other women around the world.  Women at risk for maternal/infant mortality, maternal morbidity, birth trauma, and severe birth injuries.  In this prayer, I look to God as my first source of courage.  And under God, I look to strong, courageous women like Mahabouba, who is a fellow survivor of the kind of birth trauma and severe injuries that occur everyday in the developing world.  While our lives are as different as black and white, we are bound by our injuries and I wonder if our feelings about them have been the same.

I wonder if maybe, like me, Mahabouba felt an intense fear throughout her birth process as she knew things just couldn't be right.  I wonder if maybe, like me, Mahabouba felt terror and confusion the first time she tried to stand and felt her knees buckle and found that her legs could not carry her from all of the nerve damage.  I wonder if maybe, like me, Mahabouba felt horror as she felt all of her organs quickly sinking and falling down the first time she tried to take a step after giving birth. I wonder if maybe, like me, Mahabouba felt shame and humiliation the first time she found her clothing uncontrollably drenched in urine with nothing she could do to stop it.  I wonder if maybe, like me, Mahabouba ever cried out to God and asked why hadn't He just allowed her to die in childbirth if it were to only turn out this way?

But this is where the similarities between Mahabouba and myself come to a halting stop.  While my pregnancy was the product of love with my husband and soulmate, Mahabouba's pregnancy was the product of abuse and rape by the sixty year old man that her parents sold her off to for only $10.  While I was elated by my pregnancy at the age of 29 that I had so desperately prayed for, Mahabouba found herself in a pit of despair as she was only 13 and was nowhere near ready for a baby.  While my husband stood by my side through the aftermath of my experience and it's consequences, Mahabouba's husband was nowhere to be found (almost all women in the third world are left by their husbands after this experience as they no longer are considered to have any value due to their incontinence, inability to have sex or produce more children).  While I was so blessed to such a beautiful baby as Kenya in my arms, Mahabouba woke up (after passing out from the pain) only to find a dead baby by her side.  And while my family and what seemed to be the whole world were all there for me with open arms to support me in any and every way they possibly could, Mahabouba was shunned by her family and village as they believed she was cursed - so much so that they forced her to live in a small hut alone on the outside of her village where they hoped she would die of infection.  But just to make sure did die, they sent wild hyenas to her hut to attack her during the night.  

I can't imagine at this point how Mahabouba had any willpower to keep on living.  Even amongst all my own blessings, I have found days where that willpower is hard to find.   I believe this is the part where I would throw in the towel and say "come and get me".  But fourteen year old Mahabouba had the willpower to fight off the hyenas with a stick all through the night.  And the next day she had the willpower and courage to escape.  Mahabouba still could not walk because of all of the severe nerve damage, so instead of walking she crawled.  Mahabouba crawled, pulling herself with her hands and dragging her legs behind her, for thirty miles.  She arrived days later nearly dead on the doorstep of a foreign missionary who took her in and helped her.   

Unfortunately, the damage done to Mahabouba's body was irreparable.  Her insides were so torn apart from seven entire days of obstructed labor against her small pre-adolescent pelvis that urine and feces flowed freely from her birth canal with nothing she could do to stop it.  She had to have surgery to have a colostomy bag put in place and was bound to the hospital to monitor and care for it.

But this still didn't stop Mahabouba.  Fourteen year old Mahabouba was illiterate since she was sold off into marriage and missed out on the privilege of attending school.  So rather than spend her days crying in bed as I imagine I would do, she taught herself to read and write.  With months of rigorous effort in physical therapy, Mahabouba taught herself to walk again (I can't imagine at what amount of pain as I still have pain walking 9 months post-partum and my injuries are nowhere near as severe as young Mahabouba's).  And with time, Mahabouba went on to become a licensed nurse at the fistula hospital where she had her surgery and where she now gives her whole self everyday to restore the lives of other women like her.

True story.

Now, I can say without hesitation that I would never ever want the tragic outcomes that fell upon Mahabouba.... the loss of her baby, abandonment by her husband and family, rejection by her own community, and a body damaged beyond repair.... I would never ask for any of it, except one thing.  The courage Mahabouba has to make a difference and focus on changing the things that she can.  Mahabouba can't change her own outcomes, so instead she pours her whole self into changing the outcomes of those around around her, those stricken by the same unfortunate circumstances, that she might give them hope and a new life.  I could only dream of changing and restoring lives in the way that heroes like Mahabouba does.

I don't know yet how or when or where I will do this, but I will pray for courage like Mahabouba's, to change the things I can for other women who are plagued with traumatic birth and life-shattering injuries.  I will point Kenya away from T.V. icons to strong world-changing women like Mahabouba to build her strength, compassion, and character, and use Mahabouba's story as my daily reminder that the blessings I have are abundant and that we all have the power and the responsibility to change what we can in a world full of tragedies.

To learn more about women like Mahabouba, read "Half the Sky" and visit the www.halftheskymovement.org website.  To help in the fight against obstetric fistula and join partners who fight for safer childbirth, see www.fistulafoundation.org.

Prayers and help for Baby Hannah

Please help this sweet baby Hannah Byker!

Almost exactly 8 months ago, I wrote a blog asking people to help us by praying for and supporting Kenya.  The memories of how people reached out in EXTRAORDINARY ways and the memory of God's miracle for Kenya will be forever etched in my heart.  Now I'm asking all of you incredible prayer warriors again for prayers and support for some fellow missionaries down in Jarabacoa who just had a baby named Hannah, born in the same hospital as Kenya.  I will attach Hannah's story below but she also needs to be medically evacuated to the U.S. and the parents are looking for advice on where to take her for the best treatment as they are currently without health insurance for her.  Please read her story below and leave a comment if you would with any advice/words of knowledge or just to let them know that you are sending up prayers and where.  I know God can do a miracle for Hannah just like He did for Kenya and it is so amazing to see all of the support that is already coming together.  Here's the story from Hannah's mom and dad, Joe and Christen Byker, that was posted on facebook...

Our little daughter Hannah is currently in the NICU at HOMS (Santiago Met. Hospital) in the Dominican Republic. We need to medically evacuate her to the US to get her treatment for a condition that we are still finding out about. If you have ANY connections with good Children's Hospitals (particularly Pediatric surgeons), please let me know ASAP.  Please pray for Hannah's pancreas / liver as the Drs believe there may be a lesion or tumor and pray for the peace of God to reign in this trying time.  Please share this with anyone else you believe may be able to help us find a good place for her to be treated.

 They are considering some of the same hospitals we did - Children's Hospital of Philadelphia, Shriner's, Devos Children's Hospital.  Please share your words of wisdom and your contact info. if the Byker family can contact you with their questions.  Thank you for your help!!  And please visit this website if you are able to help financially.  Their medical evacuation costs alone are around $28,000 and they need all the help they can get! 

Donate to Baby Hannah here!

Love,

Kristin, Dave and Kenya

7 months

You wanted to show everyone how you could sit up and wave in your 7 month picture!  And show off your new top front teeth too!

Dear Kenya,

Here I am writing your blog late once again.  It seems like you have grown up so much this month.  Today you kept putting your toy phone up to my ear for me to talk into and seemed like you understood perfectly what you were trying to do.  You impress and surprise me everyday.  It is another snowy Saturday and your daddy is going crazy in the kitchen making pasties to freeze and singing you silly blues songs all about being a yooper and eating pasties (your daddy and I are both real yoopers in our love for pasties).  I was just helping him to peel potatoes but took a break to write you this way overdue blog!  

First things first - this week we celebrated your very first Valentine's Day!  Here we are one year ago on Valentine's Day....

Valentine's Day on the inside..

And here is us on Valentine's Day one year later...

Valentine's Day on the outside!

Crazy what a difference one year can make huh?  Last year I remember writing you a long letter on Valentine's Day all about love and telling how love is a choice you make and an action that you take, and how Daddy showed me love by cleaning up my puke one time long ago.  Whoa baby, if those kinds of actions are what makes true love, your dad has been a love machine this year!!  And I don't mean that in the way it sounds. :)  Cleaning up a little puke is NOTHING compared to what he has done for you and I this year.  He has been there through thick and thin, for better and for worse, high tide or low (like he said in his wedding vows), and shown us what true love is all about - that real love really has nothing to do with romance and everything to do with our actions to serve each other.  This year has been a crazy journey with a rollercoaster of ups and downs but there is no one I would rather have spent it with than you and your dad!  

My two favorite valentines who I love more than anyone else in the world!

 You and I started our Valentine's Day by going to our very first MOPS group, where they talked about LOVE and you got candy and a Valentine kit to make your very own valentine for your dad....

You stuck the stickers on all by yourself!

 I had the idea to hide it on your dad but then we got the idea to send him on a photo scavenger hunt instead with all the photos of your life with you and him together. and clues to why he is the best dad in the world..

Here was how it all started with the first photo clue of your dad when he got "pregnant" with you :)

 I forgot to get pictures along the way or his pile of treasures at the end, but I did get this picture of the aftermath...

 

After the scavenger hunt, we went out to Bilbo's for heart shaped pizza!  Your mommy and daddy spent our very first Valentine's Day eating heart shaped pizza at Bilbo's 10 years ago our first year dating and were so excited to be in Kalamazoo again so you could spend your first Valentine's Day doing the same with us! 

You were pretty excited to eat heart shaped pizza...

You weren't sure what to think about it at first, but once you tried it you just couldn't stop gobbling it up!

After dinner, we went out to Bob Evans for our favorite $3 chocolate peanut butter brownie hot fudge sundae dessert!  We agreed not to let you try it but Dad gave in to give you a taste...

After one taste you couldn't get enough and SCREAMED at the top of your lungs for more.  Mind you that you can scream pretty loud now so we were paying our bill and leaving Bob Evans pretty quick after that.  I think your dad learned his lesson and we decided to wait til your first birthday for your next dessert.  Oh and I forgot to mention your dad got me a beautiful bouquet of daisies which are my favorite flower.  All in all, it was the best first Valentine's Day for you that we could've asked for.

You've done quite a bit more traveling this month, including lots of trips to Grand Rapids where we've gotten in visits with your Auntie Lisa, your cousins Asher, Abram, and Zoe, our cousin Beth Wiersma, and friend Erin.  I am grateful for all of the people who help us and hang out with us in Grand Rapids to make for fun days even with all mommy's doctor appointments!

 

Always a fun time playing in Grand Rapids - you and Zoe had an apple eating party and Abram and Asher always make you giggle!

You are still a very well traveled baby making your way all around Michigan - here you having a "girls day" with Auntie Melissa in Battle Creek... 

Playing in Auntie Melissa's glasses while waiting to eat at Applebee's

Taking a nap in the dressing room at Macy's - these girls days are hard work!!

You also went to visit Lansing for the first time.  We got treated to some yummy PF Chang's and showered with gifts by mommy's friends Marie and Ellen.

Eating out at mommy's favorite Chinese restaurant

Maya loves you so much and brought you tons of new books that we love reading already!

We spent the rest of the day in Lansing having a pizza party and hanging out with some of mommy's favorite cousins, the Foley family...

We've also had some more visitors here this month including your Grandma Bradshaw and Beatriz Jacinto who is studying now at WMU...

She loves your kisses!

Visiting and spinning letters with your Great Grandma Meints

 We also started going to "Baby Talk" play group at the library... here you are sharing your toys with your new friends (I think you should learn to crawl or walk soon so they can share with you too)

And here are some photos of you with your best friend and total OBSESSION, Santa dog!  You can never get enough of her and she always makes you giggle (as you can see on this video)...

Santa is always spinning you in circles in your jumperoo!

Tying for second place after Santa, your other obsessions are our cell phone and computer!  It kinda scares daddy and I how much you already love technology!   And here are another handful of photos of you at 7 months old... (just cause they're too cute to pass up)

And now, some sad news... I believe this might be your last photo in a headband.  It seems you have decided to retire from your headband modeling career as you now rip them off your head in about .2 seconds.  It was fun while it lasted I guess... I may have to enlist some of your cousins to model them for me now... (Ana Leah perhaps?)

A few other pieces of news from your seventh month....

Santa had an accident this month and hurt her "dew claw" - dad said they were going to amputate and I thought he meant her whole leg so you and I were home praying all night that daddy wouldn't bring home a 3 legged Santa dog.  We were so happy when she came home with all four legs!

Your grandpa and grandma are back in Mexico so it's just you and me now at home.  And while it's a little harder and busier and I definitely appreciated all the help I've had over these past months, it also feels good to finally feel like a mom, all on my own, for very the first time.  

You still hate to sleep.  I'm wondering if we will ever get a good night's sleep again?

And last but not least... 

 

  We fall more and more in love with you everyday.

Love always,

Your mama