If Only, If Only

A phrase I find myself saying all the time here - if only there was electricity, if only I had a car, if only we had more money, if only the copy machine was working... but most often, it's if only we had internet, and when we do have it, it's if only our internet was fast enough!!  Fast enough to skype, fast enough to download movies - fast enough to upload my photos and write my blog!  Though I know I am so truly blessed and have no room for complaint, I will use our record slow internet as our excuse for not blogging in forever and a day.  Honestly I have started this blog about 100 times now, but the internet just won't open the pictures, or they take 30 minutes each, or it won't let me write anything because it's frozen, or most often right when I'm getting in started with my ideas, it all just shuts down mid-blog - and I scream at the computer and get frustrated and say I'm so done with it, and then start the process over the next week, this has been going on for about 3 months.  Soo I will stop complaining now, but here is my update, if you can take it all in one reading (or viewing, cause it will mostly just be photos) from Christmas to Valentine's Day, with lots in between, as well as all our new and exciting plans for the new year 2011.... (and I know Christmas is waaay over, but since each photo took so much of my time to upload, you get to see these ones anyway :)

Christmas party with my class at Miss Craig's house - we made Christmas cookies and drank hot chocolate, made birthday presents for Jesus, Christmas cards, nativity scenes, and Christmas ornaments - very crazy but fun!

Our Charlie Brown Christmas tree - our friends gave us a small Christmas tree for our house, and since we didn't have any ornaments Dave found all kinds of junk from around our apartment to decorate with, from tea bags to hair scrunchies... the neighbors were as confused as all get out - I tried explaining my husband did it to be funny, and though they attempted a courtesy laugh, their exchange of glances made it clear they did not think it was at all as funny as we did. :)

Cristal was our "mamacita" for the school Christmas program, they were all so cute!  If you don't know the song, look for Mamacita Donde Esta Santa Claus? on Youtube... the kids all came in their jammies, Mamacita sat in her rocking chair scolding them, while one my other first graders snuck around the stage dressed as a big stuffed Santa with his hopping reindeer - they were so stinking cute! 

Two of my first graders getting ready to sing Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer for the school program

I manned the girls dressing room while Dave took on the 20 some first grade boys in the other one for the hour and a half wait til our turn - I think I got the better of the two rooms :)  We had a blast!

Stealing a kiss under the mistletoe after the school program - notice all the styrofoam snow for our white Caribbean Christmas!

In addition to planning the two song/skits for our school program, I also was in charge of my class of little angels for our Christmas program at church (did I mention December was a busy month?)  We did the Christmas story theme so my kids did the angels singing in the field to the shepereds part.  I managed to run around and borrow most of the angel costumes, and Dave made the rest with his art class - turned out so cute!!

Helenyi is one of our neighbor girls who I am mentoring and absolutely adore - she made a beautiful angel!

All my little angels waiting backstage for their turn to go on!

Andy is a boy from Haiti who is truly an absolute angel, sweet as can be, I wish I could take him home with me!

Melia is a missionary kid in town who's parents run a school for low-income children and orphans, she is a sweetie pie and so is her friend Allie on the left - they are all beautiful little angels!!  I just couldn't get enough photos of them all!

Acting out the Christmas story for our program - they did a great job!!

After the program and taking off our costumes, all the kids from the Oansa program came back on stage for their Christmas presents - each bag had a pencil, crayons, some candies, and a small toy - they were soooo excited!!

Guess who dressed up as Santa Clause this year for our school Christmas banquet? 

Notice the long white skirt I wore under my costume - Mrs. Clause is apparently quite sexy in the DR! 

Before we left for the states, our neighbor Dinelia's family from my church prepared us a very special dinner of chicken, rice, chickpeas, and soda.  They were very excited to share with us and we felt so blessed to spend this Christmas meal with them!



 In addition to all this Christmas fun, we also had a big Christmas banquet at church and went Christmas caroling all around town in the back of the pastor's pick-up - going to the police station, fire station, hospital, and lots of local neighborhoods.  Everything was fantastic.  And here's the thing - there was no shopping, no long lines, no mounds of presents - just a celebration (or should I say lots of celebrations) of the birth of Christ with all the people here we love - and I found out that was truly enough.  Except for one thing missing..... 

Family!  And Dave's family too of course though I didn't get a picture with all of them together.  And all of our wonderful friends as well.  We were very lucky to have been able to fly home for a white Christmas with the people we love most!

Enjoying an American Christmas!

We were very blessed to receive donations of toys and art supplies to use with the kids here - many of them did not get a single Christmas present, so you can't imagine the joy just a simple toy like this could bring them!

Since we've been back things have been going good... we are back into the swing of things and have had a few visitors too...

Our roommate Kristina from the orphanage last year (the actress from New Zealand) came up to visit with her boyfriend for our long weekend.   We had lots of fun showing them around Jarabacoa... (Dave is so great at posing for pictures)

One of the great things about having visitors is seeing Jarabacoa through new eyes.. here are some great photos they shared with us of their time here

Flowers in the park

Santa is getting big and up to all kinds of new tricks!

Dave and Mark found this friend at the top of the mountain El Mogote that Dave climbed for his 4th time now



From the top of El Mogote



Next we had two couchsurfers from Poland - they were so fun!!  And I couldn't believe the amount of gifts they brought for us - we now own everything Polish you could ever imagine - jewelry, CD's, bookmarks, pens, magnets, you name it!  This picture was after 5 hours being lost on a mountain trying to find this waterfall - the one on the right is an experienced mountain climber so I trusted her instead of my instinct when we came to a sketchy looking tube to climb across - but they were so great that we had a lot of fun being lost together anyways!

In our community ministries, Dave's Wyldlife group and my Oansa group, we are loving life....

As you know Dave is one of the leaders of Wyldlife, an English speaking youth group for Dominican middle school students.  Thanks to your donations Dave was able to go spend a weekend with them at camp where God did some amazing things and they were able to participate in all kinds of fun adventures!  Here's all the leaders and kids - can you find Dave?

Dave and two of his middle school boys from his cabin

 

As I've shared before, my community ministry has been with Oansa at church - a Spanish speaking ministry for mostly low-income Dominican children where we have games, songs, messages, and a feeding program for the kids on Saturdays.  Here they are playing beauty shop for our "Crazy Hair Day" competition.

Here are 3 of our church's missionary kids on crazy hair day - the two in the middle are both in my class at school and won first and second prize!

I am so happy to be back with my kids after Christmas - I know I sound like a nerd, but I even miss them just on the weekends so long breaks just always feel too long!

Here's my first graders in our crowns celebrating 100 days of school!  We had all kinds of fun with lots of 100 type activities!



Right after our 100's day celebration, we celebrated Valentine's day!  The kids loved making heart crowns, valentine cards, heart baskets, exchanging cards and candies, dancing to the Cupid Shuffle, making Love books, and playing "Hot Valentine" with the class!  I was very blessed this Valentine's Day with tons of gifts from students and friends, flowers, candy, and a card from Dave, and a pizza night together.  I used to hate V-day but now I think it's the best! :)

Some new news... 



As some of you may know, Dave now has his own room - he did an awesome job painting, decorating, and making it a fun place for the kids to learn art!

Here's his class full of fifth graders learning - notice he still only has a small handful of chairs that he had to find himself - please pray that he will get chairs soon as he has been without them since December now and it is difficult to teach when half the kids are standing up!

Something else new we have been doing since we came back from Christmas is "Dinner and Discipleship nights" with the kids from church and around our neighborhood.  We invite a few kids over each week to teach them how to make dinner, cook together, read Bible stories, play games, and mentor them.  Here's one of our pizza nights with the neighborhood girls...

Dave teaching the girls how to make pizza!

 

Helenyi serving up slices!

Though my favorite part is hanging with the kids, this is Dave's favorite part of these nights, of course!

Another ministry that I am getting involved with here is called Priceless International, which works to fight human trafficking and especially child sex trafficking, which is rampant here in the Dominican Republic (exportation of prostitutes is the fourth highest in the world here).  Two weeks ago, a friend and I went on a research trip in the south of the country to interview various ministries and people in the communities involved in human trafficking.  This will probably have to be whole entire blog in itself, but we are excited about the possibilities and our long-term goal is to start a refuge house for child sex workers in the DR. 

Here you can find me with my pen flying as I interviewed Alison, an incredible lady who you can only see the backside of in this picture, but she started a dress shop, jewelry shop, school, and home for prostitutes from San Pedro and Juan Dolio who want to leave the sex trade and find a better life.  If you want to learn more about her ministry, you can visit http://www.drvision.org/ 

Since I came to Jarabacoa this year, I've been getting a reoccuring question (besides the daily "Are you pregnant?" that makes me pull my hair out) - "Will you teach me English?"  Though I was tempted to say yes and give lessons to make money, I decided I wanted to use this outreach to help those who are unable to afford English language school or pricey tutoring sessions (even if it means the cold showers and slow internet and lack of beach trips this year will continue, sigh...)  And so, I started our church's first ESL class.  January 27th was our first class and we meet every Thursday night from 6:30-8:30.  I have about 30 students so far, and it is almost all Haitians, with three Dominicans (there is a HUGE racial divide here between Dominicans and Haitians but so far we all seem to be getting along). Yesterday, eight year old Helenyi was over looking at my photos as I wrote my blog and she in a surprised tone,
"Kristin, you give classes to the Haitians?!?"
"Yes," I responded, "They are wonderful and beautiful, I love teaching them, just like I love teaching the Dominicans the same way".
She thought about this for a minute, and said "You know, we're really all just the same - God made us the same and loves us all right, no matter if our skin is light or dark right?  He thinks we're all beautiful and equal right?"
I didn't know whether to smile or cry, so I did a bit of both - "Exactly right Helenyi." :)

Here's our first night of English class!  I love them all!

I don't know if I've ever had such dedicated students who are so enthusiastic about learning - they ALWAYS study and are actively participating - I can't imagine a more perfect class.  I even overheard one girl my age talking to a friend saying "I love English class, I just LOVE it!"  Who actually loves going to class that much?  Even though it makes Thursday a long day, it's so cool to teach people who are so eager to learn!

One last piece of exciting news - I get to be a bridesmaid this summer for my beautiful friend Melissa (the angel from Panama who came to help in my classroom in Owosso three years ago and has been a huge part of my life ever since).  They got engaged on Christmas Eve, the same as Dave and I, and are getting married August 13th, two days after our anniversary.  I can't wait and am so excited for them!!

The happy couple!

 A few other new pieces of news... (without photos)
I started my tutoring club back up and now have four students I am tutoring every Monday in math and reading after-school. 
I started another dance class this semester but am teaching dance to 6-8 year old girls instead, while Johanna continues dance classes with the older ones... so we have lots of Jonas brothers, Disney, and fun girly dances planned - let me know if you have any ideas!
I am still teaching Spanish to the Haitian parent of one of my students - this has helped us to develop a special relationship with her and helps me to keep up my Spanish!
I am almost finished with my online graduate class - one more paper, my final project, and I'm done!  I can't wait to be done and able to renew my teaching certificate!
Dave started a cycling club with the kids in town to bike together two nights a week but no one has signed up yet - hopefully the kids will soon (Dominicans are late with everything!)

Yes, I know what you're thinking and yes, I already know I'm nuts, but please pray that I don't lose my head with this crazy lifestyle, and that I stay sane and healthy.  I usually love everything I do but sometimes it makes me a little crazy.  I'm trying to remember how to use that word "no" too, but it's really hard for me - it just doesn't come easy.  Please pray for our marriage, our students, our church, our activities, and especially the new refuge house we are trying to start here in Jarabacoa.  Oh and for Santa - I splurged and finally bought new shoes after losing 4 of my favorite pairs, if she doesn't break these habits I might just break her! :) 

Anyways, sorry again for being away so long, and for writing such a long blog too, but love and prayers to all of you back home, miss you all, please come visit us soon!!  Oh and shout out to my best friend Lauren of (almost) 29 years, she may be the only one who finishes these blogs and her birthday is tomorrow - I love you Laur!!! 

Love, peace, and prayers to all of you,
Kristin xoxoxo



Christmas letter

Dear friends and family,

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year’s 2011!  Thank you to each of you for all of your love, encouragement, prayers, and support throughout this past year.  The year 2010 has been an incredible one, full of wild ups and downs, joys and losses, and we couldn’t have made it through it without you.  Many of you probably remember a year ago at this time – we never realized what a ride the year ahead could hold for us.  After our fundraiser we had bringing in the new year one year ago, we flew back to the Dominican Republic just a few days later to see the world had been turned upside down when the earthquake took place in our neighboring country of Haiti.  It was a scary time as Dave’s brother and his wife were there in the middle of Port-au-Prince, and there were many other friends who we were not able to contact and did not know if they had survived.  Thank God our family made it out okay, but our “sister orphanage” in Haiti lost a hospital, a guest house, and a special needs school, and many staff and volunteers were found both dead and alive in the rubble days later.  In the aftermath of the quake, Dave, his brother, and other NPH volunteers were able to use the money that you donated at our fundraiser last year to fill truck after truck with food, water, and medical supplies and drove back and forth into Haiti to the NPH hospital which was still standing.  You can only imagine the things he saw being in a hospital in Haiti only days after the earthquake.  Dave was there for the largest 5.9 aftershock where people poured out of buildings screaming onto the streets, and was later hospitalized for several days when he came down with a severe case of malaria which doctors were not able to identify.  Our days were full of anxiety and fear, but also extreme gratitude and even excitement for all that all of you who supported us allowed us to do in the country of Haiti during heartrending time.  For months after the quake, our house, which was usually home to 16 of us international volunteers, housed dozens of doctors and aide workers from around the world, as well as Haitian refugees who came with devastating stories of loss, some of whom are still our closest friends.  In March 2010, we said good-bye to Raquela, one of three of the children we worked with in the orphanage who died during this year of various causes from AIDS to cancer – tragedies difficult to comprehend; and we also met a new member of our family, our niece Ana Leah DeYoung who was born on March 22^nd in Santo Domingo and we were able to be there for her birth.  In June, we said our tearful good-byes to the children in the orphanage before flying back stateside for the summer, where Kristin took graduate classes to renew her teaching license and Dave worked hard each day to pay for these classes.  Though it was great to spend time with our family and friends, we knew our work in the Dominican Republic was far from over.  And so in August, we flew back once again to this little Caribbean island, first to visit our “little brothers and sisters” in the orphanage, and then onto our new home and new jobs in the small mountains of Jarabacoa, just a few hours from there.  We are now working at Jarabacoa Christian School, where Kristin teaches first grade and Dave is starting a new K-12 art program, mostly using recycled materials and whatever he can find.  In our “spare time”, we are keeping plenty busy with both after-school activities and ministering in the community.  After school, Kristin is teaching dance classes and Spanish, as well as tutoring three students with learning differences, and Dave coaches American football for middle and high school and gives private art lessons.  Dave also works one-two days a week planning games, activities, and messages for “Wyldlife”, Jarabacoa’s first English speaking youth group for middle school students which started this year.  He also spends much of his free time chasing our newest member of the family, a Belgian shepherd puppy named Santa.  Kristin teaches the youngest group (ages 3-7) for “Oansa”, a Saturday children’s ministry at our church, which involves many needy children from our neighborhood who spend lots of hours in our home as well (or the neighborhood “orphanage” as Dave likes to call it).  She is also starting the first ESL program teaching English for our Haitian church, in order to help those who would like to learn English but aren’t able to pay for language school.  She is working with the pastor and other missionaries on starting local projects including a feeding center to fight child hunger, as well as a refuge home for young victims of sex trafficking.  When we able to, we like to spend weekends traveling back to the orphanage to visit with the kids who became our family in the past year.  Kristin’s former teaching assistant and close friend Maria is doing a superb job running the special education program she founded last year, as well as attending university on partial scholarship, again thanks to each of you, our faithful supporters.  Our other very close friend Cristel (a former orphan from Haiti who we helped last year after losing both her parents and her home in the earthquake) is now running a home for 13 Haitian children with cancer, in memory of Alberto, the Haitian boy from the orphanage who died in August of leukemia.  Both of them are an incredible blessing at the orphanage and we are so proud of them.

Again, none of this (at the orphanage or in Jarabacoa) could be possible without the support of each of you who are behind of us.  We can’t say enough how grateful we are to have been able to serve the people of the Dominican Republic and Haiti, because of the generosity of each of you who have graciously given to our ministry.  For this, we thank you again and again and again. May God bless you in this upcoming year!  Much love and thanks to you!

                                                                                    Love, peace, and prayers,

                                                                                    David and Kristin DeYoung

Home sweet home?

So after our 6p.m. flight out which arrived at 3a.m. in Santiago without too many hassles, we got a taxi with an American girl who said we could split cab fare with her, but instead she bolted out of the taxi and jipped us without paying her share. Then we got to the bus station around 3:30 and found out the schedule online was wrong and the first bus to La Vega didn't leave at 5a.m. but actually at 7:30 a.m. so we hung out on park benches for 4 hours chatting it up with a guy on the street, then waited another half hour in La Vega for our next bus, got to Jarabacoa around 10a.m. in the middle of the craziness of King's Day, got a taxi to our apartment, hearing from the neighbors all the way to our door about all the problems and we could smell our apartment coming up the stairs... these photos don't quite do justice to what we found.

She found all kinds of other furniture to use as chew toys too... and though we are now home, Santa has continued to eat about a third of our bed, more of the chairs, and gobbled up many of my new treasures from the states into pieces. We found two weeks worth of pee and poop in all kinds of places you would never imagine she could even get to, and our landlord says 4 neighbors are refusing to pay rent until he evicts either us or our dog. Any ideas for a name change? Somehow "Saint" just doesn't seem to fit...

Lots to be thankful for...

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! (a few days late..)  As I look around, I realize I have so much to be thankful for - a wonderful husband, a job I love to go to each day, our dog (even if she makes me crazy each day and trashes our apartment), food to eat, a roof over our heads, our health, great friends and family near and far, and especially, each of you special people reading my blog who love, support, pray for, and invest in me all the time.  I am thankful for you!

As I wrote about in my last entry, at school we've been practicing and preparing for our Fall Festival show - the Pilgrims and Indians play with the first graders and then our country re-mix dance with our dance group.  And well it was all worth it in the end, I was so excited with planning and practicing that somehow I temporarily forgot the craziness of trying to plan any event or show in the DR (where nothing starts on time and nothing goes as planned ever).  And though it was cute and fun and all my munchkins were adorable, I think the most appropriate word to describe the show would be STRESS.  My co-teacher Johanna was out sick, and I don't think I've ever missed her as much as I did that day.  Imagine trying to tell twenty-two five and six year olds "yes, we'll have snack today, yes we'll use the bathroom, yes we'll do the play, I don't know when, but just hang on a little longer, I don't know yet when we're presenting" as their little faces fill with confusion and big eyes fill with tears.  But it was a very cute show, everything turned out, and I think the pictures disguise the chaos quite well. :) 

Waiting in the hallway to go on for the show... which means lots of singing and Simon Says!  Dave made all the Pilgrim hats and Indian feathers with the kids and the kids looked so good!

First grade girls made awesome cowgirls for our "Wild West" themed Fall Festival! 

This is Brian, one of our more needy students at JCS who is on scholarship, who is in the other first grade class and in my reading group.  He has never been to school before, and I learned the other night while going to visit his house he gets an incredible work-out making a long hike up a rocky hill everyday to school.  And though he is quite a challenge to work with, he always shows up to school each day with a hug and a smile.  Here he's showing off his face and arm painting from our Fall Festival station activities.

A shot with our dance group after our Country re-mix performance - a little bit of Hannah Montana hoedown, Bootin Scootin Boogy, and Cotton Eyed Joe.  My first dance performance in like.... 22 years probably?  It was fun though.... :)

Cristal and Marilee enjoying the Fall Festival games!

Herly and his fall crafts

Dave had a hat making contest with his high school art classes made of various recycled materials for the festival - here he is running the show! 

Thank goodness this was a half day of school before a long Thanksgiving weekend and we had big plans.  First, a visit to the orphanage with all the donations of toys and clothing we collected during "Kindness Month" at JCS (this was our virtue for the month of October) to give to my former special education classroom.  Then off to a Christian Reformed World Missions retreat for the weekend with Tim and Paola, and 40 other missionaries/volunteers from the DR and Haiti.  Since we had so much luggage and couldn't fit into the "guaguaita" that we usually take, they sent someone to come and get us.  And though I was just planning to sleep on the ride home, the person I met in the van ride changed that plan and made for a much more special 2 hour ride.

This is Shelly, a 9 year old girl I had the privilege of riding home with.  She happened to be coming home from her chemotherapy treatments in the capital so we could ride together.  Though she is Haitian and didn't speak Spanish or English, we somehow found a way play and sing together for our entire ride home.  She is one of the 13 new children living in the home for Haitian kids with cancer at NPH that my friend Cristel is managing now.

Shelly in a second picture feeling more comfortable in her hat.

Here is a picture of Shelly with her mom, who is also named Shelly.

Though I was planning to save all the donations to get sorted once I arrived at the orphanage, I couldn't resist pulling out this doll to play with Shelly.  The expression on her face when I pulled it out couldn't have been more priceless.  It is amazing to see someone who loves life and celebrates each moment of it, even if she's just barely hanging onto it. 

Here's Dave at our former home, the NPH volunteer house, with one of the many, many trees he planted last year.  Hard to believe just six months ago when we left, this banana tree barely reached his knees.

It was SOOO great to go back and visit Maria and my former classroom during school for the first time since I left in June.  Here's Carmencita with a new stuffed animal from the donations. 

Maria is doing an amazing job with the classroom, it was so cute all decorated for Christmas!  She is a friend who I miss sooooooooo much all the time.

Maria made this nativity scene using scrap wood, an old broom, sawdust, and a few other knick-knacks.. how creative is that?

 When going back to visit the orphanage, there are common questions:  When did you get here?  When are you leaving?  What did you bring me? but by faaaaaaaaaaar and away, the most frequent is.... Are you pregnant yet?

Going back to the school for the first time and going to class after class to greet teachers meant hearing the same thing over and over, you look great, you're so fat, are you pregnant?! while touching my belly.  No, I explain again and again, not pregnant, just fatter.... after a few classrooms, I debated whether or not to continue this through the school, though I did and the same comments continued, then from 30 or so tias, and the same from the 200+ kids, Kristin, Kristin, you're so fat, are you pregnant?  And here's the topper of it all... Mary Joe, my AMERICAN friend, says last, Kristin, look at you, you've gained weight!  So I can't just pin it on the culture.  I guess going back to the orphanage is not the greatest thing for your self-image, but they do mean it in all kindness and sincerity.

I had quite the abundance of clothing donations from a little girl in my class and immediately thought of my former student Julianna (on the right) who lives in the near-by slum village, since she does not usually reep the benefits of the orpahange donations (and has very little to wear aside from her school uniform).  Her family was very excited and thankful. 

Since I don't have one of my own yet, they insisted I hold and feed their baby while they take pictures... not sure what that was about, but I thought it was funny enough to share.  And who doesn't love holding babies?

Julianna saying thank you and good-bye...



A few of the Santa Ana girls at the orphanage.



Belkis being camera shy.

NPH kids can't get enough of the camera.

After the orphanage visit, we went off to the retreat, which was at the..... BEACH - finally!

Since there were so many of us gringos there for the retreat, our hotel had Thanksgiving for us and we actually got to eat turkey!

Here's Tim and our neice Ana Leah, she's growing up all the time!

Enjoying a birthday dinner with my husband.

Our neice Ana Leah after bopping her head and getting a little shiner... but she's still cuter than ever.



Dave getting his surprise birthday cake - and the waitress rubbed frosting all over his face.



So the CRWM retreat - it's hard to put such an incredible and inspiring weekend into such few words.  There was a pastor there from the Democratic Republic of Congo who blew us away.  Though I don't have time or space here to explain all the ways in which I was touched and changed by his stories and messages, I do have to say one thing that made me realize needed to be said.

Over this past year, I have received countless emails and letters full of compliments, encouragement, and support - telling me I am giving, generous, kind, brave, selfless... people who say they want to be more like me, and even a friend from here that I told me she thought I actually was Jesus.  And each time I accepted these with a simple thank you, and sometimes even allowed myself to believe them.  And I am just now realizing that for a year and a half I have been robbing all this credit and glory from God, who without Him nothing at all is possible.  And here's a confession, the truth:  I'm not any of those things people call me.  I'm selfish - all the time.  I want and wish things for myself constantly - I want to take hot showers and eat good food and wear nice clothes and look nice - I want people to like me, I want to look good, I want to feel good, I want and want and want.  I want a real salary and want more money and want more stuff.  I try to tell myself I deserve things I don't need, play the grass is greener game, and even complain and talk bad about the very people I was sent here to love.  The truth is I'm just the same big mess I always was.  If that doesn't convince you, listen to this... 

A few weeks ago after a day of teaching and tutoring and while Dave was out doing youth group, I decided to curl up in bed early and watch some chick flick in bed and drink tea on a rainy night.  And while I felt a strong pull in my heart to go and visit my newly widowed neighbor, I told myself and told God "I have a headache.  It's raining.  It's been a long day.  I don't have an umbrella.  I don't know what to tell her, I can't help her.  Tomorrow God." and selfishly went on watching my movie... which I will even admit was a Zack Efron movie, if that's even spelled right, who I'd never heard of until teaching with such a young crowd of teachers this year.  I am 28 years old and chose to stay inside and watch some pre-teen movie instead of going to visit with my newly widowed neighbor, and I told myself I deserved it.  And then I found out a few days later that my neighbor Milagros moved away and I missed my chance.  Anyone still think I sound selfless, or like Jesus?  I didn't think so... And instead of the big "I told you so" that I deserve, God forgives me every time, washes me clean, gives me another chance to follow Him.

The truth is that it when you see these photos on my page that make it appear I am doing something great or heroic, it is only that I am choosing to listen to those whispers of my heart that God gives me all the time.  It only through Him that I can deny my worldly desires and use what I am given to better the world for those around me, no matter how small that may be.  And nothing would be possible here without Him.  So I just wanted to clear that up for all those who have been reading, and give props to the one who truly has made it all happen this past year and a half. 

Okay, one last thing - Christmas.  First, I don't know if I'm coming home yet, that has been a decision I've had been having trouble with for a while now.  While talking to my Haitian girlfriend Cristel about the plane tickets last weekend, which my parents so graciously offered to pay for, she said "You could buy someone a house with that much money in my country."  That got the wheels in my head turning - especially after reading about these great projects in my last two books I've read, Eat, Pray, Love and Three Cups of Tea - that maybe I could do some great project over in Haiti - help a homeless family have a house, help cholera victims, help my friend Antoine start the orphanage he's been talking about since the day I met him.  But I don't have much money, and as Mother Theresa reminds me each day when I look up at my wall "We can do no great things - only small things with great love."  I have to remind myself I'm not a hero, start small, and not to get too carried away.  A part of me remembers quickly that life is short and tells me that I should just go home and see the friends and family that are precious to me.  Anyways, so in short, I don't know about Christmas.  But what I do know is that there is need all around me - children who don't receive Christmas gifts, families who struggle to eat, there were even two children in my church here in Jarabacoa that passed away in the past year from malnutrition.  And not too far away on the other side of the island, in that country quickly forgotten after the earthquake, the need is even greater as people still live outside on the streets and are dying of starvation and disease with each meal we eat.  So if you are interested in giving this Christmas, I can promise I will make sure that money will go to a good cause.  It would great if I could even sponsor one family from our church this Christmas.  Let me know if you are willing to help make that possible.  

Thanks to all for your continued love, prayers, and support.  Love and miss you all, and would love to hear about what's going on in the other places in the world where you each are.

Love, peace, and prayers,

Kristin